PREFACE

 

The greatest blasphemy ever known is when Adam told God His plan was no good.  Mankind fell away from God through one man and now mankind returns by a God-man to achieve his eternal goal – Heaven.

Man lost all his preternatural gifts, i.e. no suffering, no death, having all knowledge, and no weakness of the will, but the greatest gift of all that man lost was divine life.  Christ only brought the latter and the cross to sanctify man on his way to God.  Our Lord spent the three years teaching the Apostles the Way, Truth and Life.  Seven of the eleven could not read or write, so through discussions with the Apostles Christ led them to the truths of the Truth.  He would be emphatic when He said ‘I am the Way’ (John 14:6)

For the ancient Semites the route or way was important.  He had to teach them that the way was not a law, but a person.  Christ’s presence on earth was a means whereby mankind could follow Christ.  ‘No one comes to the Father but through Me’

As He called his first disciples, so He calls each one of us to ‘come follow Me’.  He had to teach His Apostles that the way to glory is through the cross.  All would die martyrs except John, and they tried once and failed.  Jesus did not point the way to the cross and bid us continue our journey alone.  No, He said ‘I am the Way’ and He will lead you, support you, strengthen you and love you every step of the way.

 

Fr. Francis Stuart, O.S.B.

3/1/06


 

NOTICE

 

We respectfully recognize and accept the final authority regarding apparitions and locutions presently being reported around the world rests with the Holy See of Rome to whose judgment we humbly submit.  Pope Paul VI’s directive on October 14, 1966 states that with the abolition of Canon 1399 and 2318 of the former Canonical Code: ‘Publications about new appearances, revelations, prophesies, miracles, etc. have been allowed to be distributed and read by the faithful without the express permission of the Church and no longer require a ‘Nihil Obstat’ or ‘Imprimatur’, providing they contain nothing which contravenes faith and morals.

Finally we shall also abide by what Pope Urban VIII stated in the 1600s.  ‘In cases which concern private revelations, it is better to believe for if you believe and it was proven true you will be happy that you have believed because our Holy Mother Church asked for it.  If you believe and it should be proven false, you will receive all blessings as if it has been true because you believed it to be true.’

‘Blessed are they who believe and yet have not seen.’  (John 20:29)


JESUS’ LIFE

As given to child and little one

 

Chapter 1 – “The Downfall of Man”

 

Child and little one, I am revealing to you My inner Life from the time of conception until the Ascension.

Much has been given to others about My Life on earth from conception to Ascension, but these writings have dealt with My physical Life, My Teaching and especially the years that I worked with the public.  I have given great detail to the events in My Life, especially those spoken of in Scripture.  I have spoken in detail about the parables and the miracles worked.  My children even with all this information have failed to understand the God-Man.  With you I will speak more of My interior Life than circumstances.  I wish My children to have a greater understanding of Me as man and as God because I took on your humanity not only to redeem you, but to give to you a living example of what it means to be a Child of God and to show you that it is possible to live in unity with the Trinity while on Earth.

Today We begin this work and I wish to begin at the point that man and God become separated because of the fall of Adam.

My children have begun to believe that the story of Adam is a fable.  This story in Scripture is no fable; it is a heart-wrenching event that has affected every man, woman and child since that day, and will affect all until the Last Day.  What was lost when Adam and Eve listened to the Serpent and consciously chose to disobey has long been misunderstood. 

In Scripture it is written that they walked in the garden in the evening with God.  They conversed with Him and the Father revealed Himself to them in a way and in degree that would not happen again until I came into the world as man.  Adam and Eve, innocent in sin, were able to grow to know and love their God with a clarity that cannot be understood by man now.  Not even the greatest Saints have known and loved their God as these two because there always remains residual effects of the First Sin.  They, your first parents, had dominion over all created things, but much more than this is the union that they had with God.  All things obeyed them because they lived in God and with Him on a high spiritual plane and all they did they did in union with the Will of the Father, and peace was upon the world.  Then Satan tempted Eve.  He tempted her because only she might be able to lead Adam to sin.  Lucifer, who is pride, offered the temptation that struck at her pride.  She and Adam had everything and the right to rule over everything except for one prohibition, and Satan kept insinuating that it was not right for God to prohibit them from having total control over procreation of other men.  He told them if they would listen to him they would know what God knew.  Eve began to work on Adam and over a period of time convinced him to listen to the Serpent.

You must understand that this was not a decision of a moment, but the seed was planted and grew until these two, who had great understanding of their God and knew how much He loved them and promised to do for them and their descendents if they would comply with what He asked of them.  Pride, envy, covetousness grew slowly but surely and finally they disobeyed.  They lost innocence.  Scripture says they realized they were naked and hid themselves.  What they really knew was that they had lost a precious bond with God because they had lost grace and the union they had shared was broken.  The Father, being merciful and knowing that their being material creatures as well as spiritual made them more handicapped than the Angels who are pure spirits, and so He judged them accordingly.

The Angels were tested once and, because they are pure spirits with great advantages and knowledge, those who followed Lucifer were driven from Heaven forever.  There would be no second chance. 

For man, He gave a second chance and He promised that a Woman would crush the head of Satan.  Her offspring would be called Son of the Most High and Her Offspring would rule over all the earth and repair what was lost by Adam and Eve.

I wish to begin the story of My Life with the above so that you may understand why only God Himself could repair what was lost and why God so loved man that He would come and take on the humanity of man, and why it was necessary to take this form in order to redeem man.

Mankind held in the depths of their souls the remembrance of what had been and what had been promised.  Every soul at the moment it is created, for a fraction of a second, sees its Creator and in the seeing, in that moment, the soul is impressed with the knowledge of the Goodness of God and it is given understanding of good and evil; what you call moral law.  It understands Good because it is for that instant in the Presence of Infinite Goodness, Mercy and Love, and the soul knows that it is being created to live with this Infinite Good forever, but it also understands that there is an impairment and in that sense it understands evil because the impairment keeps it from living in union with this Infinite Good.  At the moment of conception that impairment is in place and it is called Original Sin.

From all eternity I knew that I would be sent by the Father to bridge and heal that which separated man and God. 

This My children find hard to understand; how Adam and Eve chose freely and yet from all eternity God knew what would happen.  The answer is that you are created free to choose God or not to choose Him and God leaves you free to choose, for what Glory or love would He receive from robots with no free will?  In His infinite knowledge of all things He knows what you will choose, but He has not forced the choice; it is entirely yours.

I, God, the Second Person of the Trinity, One with the Father and the Holy Spirit, mourned with the Father and the Holy Spirit at the loss of union between Us and man, yet I rejoiced when I knew that one day the Heavens would be filled with men because the Father would send Me to make reparation for man, and all those that would choose to follow Me to the Father would inherit all that the Father offered.

Throughout the history of man, We, Thrice Holy, One, interacted with man.  God, Thrice Holy, spoke to the children of God, to Cain and Abel, to Abraham, Isaac, to his descendents.  With Abraham came the first covenant that dealt with the coming of the Messiah.  It was not the first covenant made with man, for one was made with Adam and Eve promising that man would receive mercy and the promised Redeemer.  The second covenant was with Noah and his descendents; the third was with Abraham who would become the father of all the Faithful, and from his descendents would come the Promised One. 

Jacob was given a new name, Israel, for he would from his descendents father a mighty nation, and from one of his sons, Judah, the Messiah would come.

A covenant was made with Moses and this time the people actively agreed to the covenant, and from them and their descendents the nation of Israel was formed.  God called these people to be His people, a holy people who would allow Him to lead them and He would procure for them land, freedom, and security if they would be faithful to Him, adoring no other gods and being obedient to the Commandments and directives He gave to them.

Once again God was intimately walking with His children, not as Adam and Eve had done before the Sin, but more closely than man had thought possible.  Through Moses and the prophets God spoke to and worked with the people to form a nation that was Light in a world that had grown dark and no longer knew the One True God.

The history of Israel is the history of mankind.  At first they obeyed and grew strong and prospered, and when they were strong they decided they wanted to be accepted and respected by other great kingdoms, and so they chose to abandon this direct leadership of God and they begged for a king.  God warned them that they would lose what they had if they chose a human king over a Divine One, but He also told them they were free to choose, and they chose a human king. 

The Father sent Samuel the prophet to find Saul who could be a great king if he would remain faithful to God.  Saul, like so many men, was good but when given great power they are corrupted by it.  The Father intervened and sent Samuel to anoint the boy David as king because David’s heart greatly pleased the Father.  David had a spiritual development even as a child far beyond what most men reached and so God set him on the throne of Israel, giving the people the best help He could.  David at times failed his God but he also loved his God beyond himself, and so he was able to make a great nation, a stable nation, that still followed the laws of God, and he was the example that all his descendents should have followed.  Because David found great favor with God, he was promised that the Messiah would come directly through his line, and that this descendent would rule forever and David understood and rejoiced.  David was the best hope for Israel, but as history records, the nation and its kings did not stay faithful to God or the covenant.

And this is where We will end this chapter.

 

 

 

Chapter 2 – “The Coming of the Messiah”

 

From all eternity Holy Mary was chosen among all women to bear the Messiah.  To carry the God-Man, Mary would be given the singular privilege of being conceived without Original Sin which meant that from the moment God breathed life into Her She was in the state of grace.  The Mother of God had to be in the state of grace, for God will not abide where sin is, but, My children, I want you to understand that I call My Mother Holy not only because of the singular privilege given Her, but because, on Her own, She strove with all Her Heart and Will to love God and obey Him.  Mary was not aware that She was different from the rest of mankind.  Her little Heart was acutely aware of God’s Goodness and His Mercy toward Her.  The Father sheltered Her in one sense by arranging Her to grow up under the supervision of those in the Temple, but Her life of suffering and sorrow began early by leaving Her parents at a tender age for the Temple, and then the loss of both Her parents while quite young.  She was being formed by the Father to accept the role of the Mother of the Redeemer.  Mary learned young to place Her trust in Her God Who was the only Father She had to rely on.  Mary’s Heart belonged only to God and She did not see Herself in any other role but serving God always as He Willed.

In Mary’s generation women were expected to marry and they had little choice in the matter.  Although Mary would have preferred to remain in the Temple, She obeyed the priests when they told Her they would find a suitable spouse who would take care of Her, especially since She had no parents.

Mary was of the Tribe of Judah and so they looked among Her relatives and those of the Tribe for Her spouse.  When the eligible men of that House were called to the Temple, Joseph was among them.  Joseph did not seriously believe that Mary would be offered to him.  She was very young and he was a mature man who had planned to remain single and devote himself to God.  He had offered to God the comfort of having a wife and children and believed he would remain single to the end of his days.

Mary had the same desire in Her Heart and She had confided this to the High Priest, but also She had told him that if God wanted Her to marry She would obey.  The High Priest looked among the men and did not know what to do.  He knew that Mary loved God and he knew that God had a hand in Her being at the Temple, so he left it to the Father to choose.  He devised a test which would show God’s Will.  He handed to each a small branch from an almond tree.  When Joseph took his, it bloomed for all to see.  The High Priest knew God’s Will and so did Joseph, and he accepted Mary to be his wife.

When they were introduced, each recognized that there was something singular about the other.  They felt comfortable with each other and so each was able to speak of their lives and their hopes.  As they spoke they realized that they both had desired a consecrated life dedicated to God, and so Joseph and Mary agreed that they would be married in name only, living as brother and sister, and in that way each would have companionship and still remain consecrated to God, and so they were betrothed.

It was the custom for the newly betrothed to have time to get to know one another because most marriages were arranged, and the couple may have never met before the formal betrothal.  At times it could be a year or more before their marriage.

Joseph took Mary to Nazareth where Her family home was.  She had inherited a little house that had belonged to Her parents and for several months Joseph would come to visit and they grew to love and respect one another.

In Heaven We watched and waited and rejoiced.  The time that had been chosen by the Father had come for the Redemption and so, on the appointed day and at the appointed hour when Mary was alone and in prayer, the Father sent the Archangel Gabriel to announce to the little Virgin that She had been chosen from among all women to bear the Messiah, and He would be the Son of God as well as Her Son.

Mary, having grown up in the Temple, knew all the Scriptures pertaining to the Messiah and because of Her love for God and Her deep spirituality, She understood the passages about the Messiah.  In Her humility and simplicity She did not doubt the Angel’s words, but spoke frankly and asked how this could be since She was a virgin and believed that She would remain one according to Her agreement with Joseph.  The Angel explained that God would overshadow Her and She would conceive, and that this Child would be called the Son of the Most High.  Mary, knowing all things are possible with God, agreed to what God was asking of Her.

My children, I want to make two points clear.  Mary was young, but She was in grace and had great spirituality.  She understood that Her fiat was necessary, but She was free to choose and She chose to obey God.  She allowed God to bring about Life in Her Womb according to His Will and the way He chose.  She, Holy Mary, began repairing for women the Sin of Eve, who had chosen the opposite.

The second thing I want you to understand is that She knew Her choice was a great Blessing for Her and all mankind, but was also going to bring Her grief.  She had understood the passage from Isaiah describing the suffering and death of the Anointed One.  As Eve had chosen in full knowledge, so did Mary.  Neither knew how their decisions would affect their daily lives, but each understood the seriousness of their choice and that there would be repercussions.

Heaven waited in silence for Mary’s ‘yes’, for She could have chose the opposite and, My children, the consequences would have been devastating beyond your imagining for all mankind, but in Her Holiness She sought only God’s Will and the good of all mankind, and with Her ‘yes’ a sense of awe fell upon the Angels, and in that little house the Spirit overshadowed Mary, and the Second Person of the Trinity entered Her Womb and became Man without losing His Divinity.

The Child conceived was God and man, a mystery to be pondered.  As I, Jesus, heard Mary’s ‘yes’, My Heart rejoiced for Man.  As I entered Her Womb I felt peace, for in Mary I could find rest.

I will end this chapter by saying that Mary was truly the Ark of the Covenant.  She was the first Tabernacle that held within Herself the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of the God-Man.

 

 

Chapter Three – The Visitation

 

When the Angel Gabriel announced to Mary that Her cousin Elizabeth was with child Mary’s Heart rejoiced, and when She was told that the Will of God was for Her to go and help Her cousin She was most willing to do so.  What Scripture does not say is that Gabriel told Her many other things that would help Her in the days to come, and he also laid a heavy burden upon Her by asking Her to remain silent and let God reveal to Joseph that the Messiah was coming into the world and that She, Mary, was carrying the Messiah.  In Her joy it did not occur to Her that God would test Her Faith and trust, and that of Joseph’s, and although She did not understand the role God was giving Her in His Salvation Plan, She understood the need for obedience. 

When the Father sent Mary to Elizabeth She would begin the role of Mediatrix of all Graces.

Mary left Nazareth with great joy in Her Heart and the God-Man in Her Womb, and as it is recorded in Scripture when Elizabeth set eyes on Mary, her babe leapt in her womb and by the power of the Holy Spirit she recognized the Messiah within Mary.  For Mary it was a rapturous moment for She received confirmation for what the Angel had spoken of.

I, Jesus, was forming as Man as all men form, but as God I was aware of the unfolding of Scripture and the Salvation Plan.  I said that Mary began Her role as Mediatrix of all Graces and so She did because the Second Person used Her as an instrument to bring Me to John who was still in his mother’s womb.  John recognized the Presence of God and lept like David before the Ark of the Covenant.  In that moment I sanctified his soul for he had been chosen as the Forerunner of the Christ and to be so he would need sanctifying grace to grow in knowledge, wisdom and grace to fulfill all that would be asked of him.

My joy at being in the presence of John was great for I foreknew that here was a Soul who would not fail his God and who would make ready My Way to be able to Teach and be recognized by humble and sincere souls as their Savior and God. 

Those first months that I was forming as Man were ones of spiritual rest for the Second Person of the Trinity.  I was surrounded by holy souls that loved their God and so I could rest in them.

I wish to speak of Zachariah.  Most people do not understand why he was punished for asking almost the identical question that Mary asked the Angel.  Both said how can this be?  The difference lies in the thought of the person asking the question.  Mary asked for understanding of what was being asked of Her and She had no doubt in Her Heart or Mind that God could do all things, even if it looked impossible from a human point of view.  Zachariah on the other hand was older and a priest of the Temple, yet when the Angel told him that he and Elizabeth would have a child, his mind and heart doubted the possibility.  He thought ‘I am old and so is Elizabeth, and why would God wait so long to grant us this grace?’  The Angel rebuked him for his lack of Faith and trust and his punishment was that his tongue was stilled until the birth of the child.

I told you that I found rest in the house of Zachariah and Elizabeth because they were holy souls and Zachariah was a holy man, just and charitable, and observant of the Law.  He failed not because he was unholy; he failed because he let rationalism blur his spiritual sight.  Many holy men and women fail in this manner.  They do not have complete trust in God or a sure knowledge of His Ways. 

In Scripture in the section covering the Visitation you have before you a great lesson and an example of great spirituality.  You have four souls who are loving and God-fearing.  You have Zachariah who responded to God in a human way, not elevating his thought and abandoning to God.  You have Elizabeth who is old, wise, loving to the point that she is open fully to the Holy Spirit and she recognizes Truth and rejoices.  You have John, a babe in the womb, but souls are a perfect age from conception.  They do not grow like the body for they are supernatural and spiritual, and so his soul could recognize God present because, even though it carried Original Sin until I sanctified it, it was not weighed down with sin personally committed nor with worldly perceptions.  And I have already spoken of Mary’s Soul and Her response.

I will end this chapter by asking all those who follow Me to meditate on these four souls.  Which one are you more like?  Strive for true holiness and pray for the virtues of Faith, Hope and Love.

 


Chapter Four – My Youth

 

Much has been written about the Presentation and the flight to Egypt.  My Voices who have written My Life and the Life of your Holy Mother, as I have said, have focused on events and a few have shared My Mother’s joys and sufferings, but I wish, with this chapter, to focus your attention on the person Who is your Jesus.

My earliest recollections are while We were still in Egypt.  I remember Our little house which was Our family’s last stop in Egypt.  To Me it looked big, but when I grew older I realized it had been small and poorly furnished. 

I remember My Mother cleaning the house each day, but since there were only two rooms it did not take long.  The living area and eating area was one room and We slept in another barely big enough to hold two makeshift beds for Mary, My Mother, and Joseph, My earthly father.  I slept by this time in a little bed next to My Mother’s.  My father Joseph made it with his own hands and I just fit in it; a child of three. 

I remember the little goat which gave Us milk and who was My friend and playmate.  We were aliens in a strange land and poor even though I did not realize it, and so We had no close friends and no family to depend on. 

I remember the evenings when My Mother would begin to bank the fire for supper.  It meant Joseph would be home shortly, and Mother and I anticipated his coming for he brought joy and peace with him, and no matter how tired he was, or discouraged, he greeted Us as if everything was alright, and We were his greatest delight.  I remember him picking Me up and lifting Me to the ceiling and I would laugh and shout with joy.  My Mother would laugh and the whole room seemed brighter.  Each night this was Our little ritual.

When supper was ready My Mother would sit next to Joseph and, until I was older, I would sit next to Her so She could cut My food and see to My needs.  Before We ate Joseph would begin prayer and he taught Me, from the time I began to speak, the words for the blessing of the food.

In Our home Joseph was the true father who taught and set by example how the family must act toward God.  I remember as he prayed he would look at Me and his eyes would fill with tears, and at three I did not understand why.

My children, I am True God and True Man, Divinity and Humanity in one living Man, but I developed as all children develop.  I learned to sit, walk, talk, like other children.  I felt joy, and pain when I skinned My knees.  I cried when I was hungry and when I was tired.  I felt the same peace and joy as every child when cuddled by their parents, and My Mother and father taught Me manners, My prayers, and how to put on My little sandals.

I am telling you this so that you understand that I had real feelings and experiences like all of you.  In the minds of many who believe that I am the God-Man, they have begun to either overemphasize My Divinity or My Humanity.  For the most part it is My Divinity that they focus on and they make Me seem unreal and, therefore, not approachable, for they believe My Divinity protected Me from feeling pain, rejection, tiredness of body and soul.

I wish to make clear, once and for all, that as Man I lived and felt as all men do.  I was like you in everything but sin.  I am telling you of this time of My earliest childhood memories that have remained so dear to My Heart so that you can understand the pattern of Our lives from the very beginning, and would remain until Joseph was called home by the Father.

As a child, in Our home there was respect for one another and respect for God.  I learned these things from My Mother and father as every child must learn them, from their parents, or they will never learn them.

When I was nearly four, Joseph heard that the old king* was dead, and I remember how excited Joseph was when he came home that night.  Later, as I laid in bed, I strained to hear My father and Mother talking.  I wanted to hear because they were serious and yet joyful.  I remember them agreeing that although this was good news, they must wait for a sign from God to go home.  For Me this was home, but I felt that something very important was about to happen.

A few weeks later, as We were eating supper, Joseph said that We were going back to the country I had been born in and was Our native land.  He said We would go to a place called Nazareth where We had family and Mother had a little house that was given to Her by Her parents.  My Mother spoke of Our relatives and of the little village, and I was excited until I asked if We were taking My goat and I was told that she would have to be sold, for she would not survive the journey.  I cried until Joseph promised Me We would find a good home for My little friend; that no one would hurt her.

We left Egypt and a special part of My Life, for while We were there in that alien land I had had a very private world filled with nothing but love, peace, and joy.

Child, I will stop here for today and We will continue My Youth tomorrow.

I bless you.

 

*King Herod.

 

Chapter Five – Youth continued

 

Today I will speak of Our life in Nazareth.

We returned, or I should say My Mother and Joseph returned, to Nazareth to find the little house in good repair.  The Family had taken good care of it for they hoped that one day Mary and Joseph would return.  For Me it was a whole new world to explore.  I now had aunts and uncles and cousins to play with. 

Our little house was somewhat bigger than Our house in Egypt.  When you entered the house there was the main room that held a table and two chairs to just sit in.  My Mother’s spinning wheel was in that room along with a chest that Joseph made for Mother’s special things that were brought out when company came.  There was a room where Mother slept and in that room was a bed and a stand that was under the window, and I remember that in season Mother had flowers on the stand.  In one corner there was a chair and it was there that I most often remember Mother praying when She was not working about the house or helping a sick neighbor. 

There was another little room which became Mine.  In My room was My bed and a chest, both of which Joseph made for Me and I kept the toys that Joseph, or one of My uncles, would make for Me, and in there (the chest) also was room for My good tunic.

At the end of the long room, opposite the front door, was a door that led to the cooking area.  Opposite that was a room where Joseph slept and also doubled as a workroom when he built furniture for others or repaired items for others.

From the kitchen area there was a door that led into a small garden.  This garden was precious to Us all.  My Mother treasured flowers and everyone shared with Her seeds, for She so lovingly tended the plants that everything grew for Her.  Also, there was an area where My Mother and I planted vegetables and herbs for Us to eat.  On the far side Joseph made an arbor so We could grow grapes.  Mother so treasured the garden that Joseph made for Her a little grotto made out of stone, and in the front there was a basin for water for the birds.  Around the grotto Mother planted flowers and shrubs.

After the heat of the day and before dark Our little family would gather in the garden and Joseph would tell Me stories.  He taught Me the history of Our country and told stories of David Our ancestor, of the Macabees, of Moses on Sinai, and it was in the garden that Mother taught Me My prayers and to read and write.

My Mother has a beautiful Voice and when She would sing the neighbors would come to listen.  She sang the Psalms and the holy songs that everyone knew, and when I was of age to go to the synagogue for instruction, Mother and Joseph decided that Mother would teach Me for as Joseph said, She knew more than the Rabbi for She had learned in the Great Temple in Jerusalem.  And I remember Joseph looking at Her tenderly and saying ‘No one could speak of God as She did’.  Mother’s reputation for holiness was known throughout the village and so it was decided by My aunt and uncle that My Mother would also teach My cousins as She taught Me.

Jude and James were about My age and We had become inseparable playmates.  We enjoyed in the afternoons to walk among the hills, and Jude and James liked to act out stories from the Scriptures.  David and Goliath was their favorite. 

I loved My two cousins as if they were My brothers.  They were full of energy like all boys, but very gentle of heart and Jude had a way of looking people straight in the eye and being able to size up correctly every situation. Sometimes they could not understand why I preferred to be with My Mother when She prayed and sang hymns, for although they loved Mary, their aunt, they preferred to run and play tag.

My childhood was like the childhood of boys in small villages.  There is a rhythm, or was a rhythm, of work, prayer, simple pleasures and rest among those you love. 

I know people wonder if I knew as a child that I was God as well as Man.  The answer is hinted at in what unfolded on Holy Thursday night.  The Father shielded from Me as a young child a full understanding as Man that I was Divine.  I grew into an ever deeper awareness of Who I was as I grew to adolescence.  If you will remember, on Holy Thursday night My greatest grief was that the Father was withdrawing the awareness of His Presence with Me.  It worked in reverse as I grew from a small Child to an independent Child, and before I reached the age of what We considered manhood I knew Who I was and I was living united to the Father, God; with Him in Divinity but still Man.  This theologians and scholars have pondered and debated.  How could I be truly like other men if I was aware of My Divinity?  And how could I mask that Divinity from others and appear to be one among many; Jesus, Son of Mary and Joseph, a carpenter like Joseph, a friend and neighbor?  It is because I was subject always to the Will of the Father as Man and His Will was that I live, work, and die like Man.

The Crucifixion and My Death was not the only part that the Father asked as reparation for man, but also the daily trials, disappointments, fatigue, and yes, also the joys, the simple pleasures that every man experiences, were offered to the Father.  And remember that the Father had given Me the right to judge every man and woman who had ever lived, or would ever live, and so that man could never say I did not understand, in My Divinity, his pain, frustrations, temptations, or the simple joys that made his life bearable at times, the Father had Me experience everything that each of you experience except sin, and so when you stand before Me I can say ‘I understand you’ and I can judge fairly.

I will end here today and tomorrow I will speak of the passage in Scripture dealing with My being lost in Jerusalem and My Mother finding Me in the Temple.

I bless you.

 

Chapter Six – In the Temple

 

Today I will speak of the passage in Scripture where My parents realized that I am not with them as they are returning home from celebrating a Feast Day in Jerusalem.

Several times a year on the High Holy Days the men were called to the Temple for the celebrations and when possible the entire family came along.  In My twelfth year before I would become of legal age, which was around thirteen, Our family went to Jerusalem along with other family members* and our neighbors.  While We were there I saw the Great Temple and all those who worked there and were called there to pray, to offer holocaust, and to share this time of worship. 

I was deeply impressed with what I saw that year.  My Heart was most touched by the poor and downtrodden who came with such pride to offer what they could to their God.  The Temple was the heart of the people.  It meant more to them than just a place of worship; it was the center of their lives, a witness to their history, a profession of their faith, and it gave them hope for the future, for in the Temple, besides the Holy of Holies, were the scrolls that promised them a Messiah.  He would be favored by God and would deliver them as Moses brought them out of Sinai to the Promised Land.

Some believed that the Messiah would deliver them from all their earthly enemies and make of them once again a great nation.  Some believed that the Messiah would be this and more; that He would bring about a great spiritual renewal also.  A very few meditated upon the Scrolls and believed this Messiah would be a great spiritual leader who would bring about the fulfillment of the covenant made with David, and that He would be more than just a man, for David had written that He would rule forever.  That was the promise God made to David about the one who would come from his lineage.

In the Temple there were always great debates about the Messiah, and a few had been present when the Wise Men had come to the old king looking for information about where the King prophesied was to be born, for they had followed a star never seen before and they believed it heralded the birth of this long awaited King.  It was no secret that the old king out of jealousy and fear had slaughtered the babes around Bethlehem who were two or younger. The best of those present feared that the Messiah promised might have been killed and their present captivity by the Romans was their punishment by God.

As We approached the Temple, My Father in Heaven charged Me to bring hope to those who were waiting faithfully and with open minds and hearts, and to prepare the way for the time for the Precursor** and for the time of My public ministry.  The seeds would be planted in the minds of the priests and scribes that the Messiah had escaped Herod’s wrath and would rise at the appointed time, and the seed would be planted in the minds of those who were looking for a warrior king that the Messiah was greater than this.

I could not speak during the Holy Days for the priests, scribes, and rabbis would be busy with all the ceremonies and dealing with the huge crowds, so I waited until after everything was over and the people who lived outside of Jerusalem would be heading home.

One of the questions often asked is why I did not tell My parents what I had to do.  The answer is in two parts.

The first is that even though they knew that I was the Son of the Most High, God with them, only My Mother truly understood My Mission and that in time I would leave everything to fulfill what I was sent for.  To Joseph I was the Man-God but also a child not yet of age and he tried hard to protect Me.  It would have worried them more to know that I was going into the Temple to speak to those of highest authority.  They would have realized that by allowing those in power to know that the Messiah was alive could bring danger and death to Me before I reached manhood, for had they not tried to kill Me before?  If not these directly, those present that day did not try to persuade the old king against such an act that would be abhorrent to God and could bring destruction to the nation.  My Mother and Joseph had great reason to fear for Me.

The second reason will be harder for some to accept; for I, Jesus, am true Man and True God.  In My Divinity I owed no one an explanation and as Son of God and Man, My first allegiance and obedience was to My Father in Heaven.  The day I left to return to Jerusalem I knew I would cause grief to My parents, but they too were subject to God and His Will.

I returned to Jerusalem to find it much quieter and I spent the first day among the people.  They were good to a child who was separated from his parents.  I delighted in talking with them, seeing how they lived and hearing what they believed.  These were My people, both as God and as man.

The second day I walked to the Temple and spent time among the people for the Temple was always busy during the day.  The great teachers of the time would stop wherever there was a crowd and speak to the people of God, of our great ancestors, and they would teach from the Books of Moses and from the writings of the prophets.  I listened and observed all that went on around Me, the good and the bad, for the Temple was not only a holy place, but it had become a place of business where money was considered more sacred than souls.  It was a place where the wealthy and the learned walked like peacocks so proud of their positions and their learning.  I was noticed by the teachers because I was young yet so very attentive.

On the third day I returned to the Temple and one of the great rabbis noticed Me and recognized Me from the day before.  He asked Me where My father was and I told him that I had left My parents and returned to Jerusalem to come to the Temple to hear the rabbis.  He asked Me what had most impressed Me and I spoke of several points of the Law that he had spoken of the day before.  He was impressed with My understanding which he said he had found in few before.  He asked Me if I wanted to accompany him to meet some of the other Teachers and I accepted.  He took Me to an inner chamber where a large group of rabbis and their disciples, along with priests assigned to the Temple, were gathered.  They were discussing points of the Law and they spoke of the prophets and how the prophets had made real to the people God’s Ways.  As it inevitably happened, the discussion turned to the passage in Isaiah about the Messiah.  They asked Me, more out of kindness than for any other reason, what I thought of those passages.  They asked what did I think they meant.  It was the opening I had been waiting for the Father to make for Me.  I began humbly to speak about what all the prophets had said about the Messiah starting with Moses.

I lined up the passages that were similar but as given by each prophet, and I explained that when looked at as a whole it seemed clear that the Messiah was not the warrior king in a militaristic sense that most believed would rise, but that He was a king first and foremost of the Spirit; that He would come to bring a spiritual renewal and to bring about the fulfillment of the Covenant.

They listened amazed.  One young disciple named Gamaliel said he had never heard the prophets explained this way.  Others asked where did I come from and what was My lineage, and I knew the seeds had been planted.  I told them that one day I would come again and they would remember this day and hour.  It was then that My Mother and father came into the room.  There is much to be learned from what was said between My Mother and Me.

My children, as upset as My Mother was, when I told Her that I must be about My Father’s business, holy, humble Mary remained silent for She knew Her Son was speaking as the Second Person of the Trinity. 

Remember always, children, that before God you must be humble and even if you do not understand what God is doing you must accept His Will and abandon yourself to His Will.

The passage ends with Me obediently returning home with My parents.  I was always obedient to Mary and Joseph for as My parents they represented God’s authority over Me as man, and by My Father’s Will I returned to Nazareth because My time had not yet arrived.

I will end here this teaching.

I bless you.

 

*This refers to aunts, uncles, and cousins.

**John the Baptist

 

Chapter Seven – The Years Before Ministry

 

Today I will speak of the years between the incident in the Temple when I was twelve and the beginning of My public ministry.  These years were not mentioned by the Evangelists because they did not pertain to My teachings and what was considered My active years, My public years.  This is a misnomer for each year of My Life was used for the benefit of man, but it was the Will of the Father that My years of teaching would be three, one year for each member of the Trinity, and a Scriptural number for God.

My father Joseph taught Me his trade, the trade of a carpenter.  Once I reached fourteen I worked along side Joseph in Our little shop and, because there was now two of Us, life became a little easier for My parents.  Joseph entrusted Me with repairs and finally with the building of what you would call ‘fine furniture’.  We were in demand because Joseph let nothing leave Our workroom that was not finished to the best of Our ability.

I lived a quiet life among My family and neighbors.  I worked hard during the day and in the early evenings We spent quiet time together, or sometimes My aunts, uncles and cousins would come and spend time in Our little garden enjoying each other’s company.  At night while the village slept I would pray and be in communion with My Father and the Holy Spirit.  In those hours I was refreshed and renewed.

Often Joseph and I would go among the poor fixing roofs, doors and broken furniture out of love.  There was no one that Joseph refused to help and the return We received was smiling faces and the offering of prayers for Us.  I also accompanied My Mother, especially in the evenings, when She would attend the sick and suffering in Our little village.  Mother always brought peace and comfort and She and I would pray with the people.  Many were healed, but in such a way that it did not bring extraordinary attention to Ourselves.  In those days people believed in the power of prayer and so if someone was healed, especially in a quiet way, all glory was given to God and nothing seemed out of the ordinary.  People called often for My Mother for Her gentle care and loving Heart brought relief even if healing wasn’t granted. 

Our days revolved around family, work, prayer, and helping Our neighbors.  My Mother and Joseph were considered good and holy people by those around them.  They were considered a little odd in their views, as Joseph did not spend time with the men talking politics or gossiping about those in the village.  He was a sober, industrious man who never lost his temper, nor could anyone remember him saying an unkind word about anyone.

My Mother kept to the house except for taking care of others in need.  She was an example of a kind, loving, generous wife and mother.  Her home was Her domain and it was always clean and in order, and She took care of Joseph and I with such love that We were the envy of many, but as I said, they were not understood because they did not involve themselves in the goings-on in the village, and they were raising Me differently than was the norm.  I did not go to school at the synagogue.  Mother taught Me and My cousins at home and it was She that prepared Me for My coming of age in the Temple.  Some said that they were too protective of Me; others said that they must think that they were better than others since they did not do what everyone else did, and there was much talk in the village when I became old enough to marry and My parents turned down fathers who approached them to arrange a marriage with their daughters.  My lack of interest was looked on as strange and their turning down good matches with sizable dowries was unheard of in Our time and village.  It was looked upon as not being faithful to Our nation for I was of the line of David and people hoped and waited for the Messiah to come from that line, and it was looked upon as a duty for every male and female of that line to marry and reproduce so that the Promise might be fulfilled.  Year after year I remained unmarried and people could not understand this and it became a matter of contention within Our extended family after Joseph died, for a daughter-in-law would have been a help to My Mother.  Mother and Joseph just smiled and refused all discussion by saying that I was a good Son and faithful to My Heavenly Father, and I would do what was right for Me, and that was all they cared about.

In My twenty-seventh year Joseph passed to the Father.  I was at his side and Mother, Who had stayed almost constantly with him for days, was on his other side.  Joseph was such a humble man who thought that he never did enough for God or his family.  In the days before his death We spoke often of the Father’s Mercy and how well he had loved Me and Mother.  I told him I could love no earthly father as much as I loved him.  I told him that he had made My Life here on earth as happy as it could be.  His eyes filled with tears and he said ‘My Son, My God, to hear You say this gives me peace and courage’.  It was My joy as his God to reassure him that the Father was pleased with him and he had fulfilled all that was asked of him.  As God I could tell him of what awaited him and see the smile upon his lips as he looked forward to being with the Patriarchs and all those who were awaiting the opening of Heaven, and he knew he would not have to wait long which brought him both joy and sorrow; joy for the fulfillment of the Promise and sorrow for what I would have to undergo to open the way for him and all the Just Souls.  As His Son I held him in My Arms, and My Heart broke thinking of the days ahead without hearing his voice and his step in the house and in the workshop.  I already felt the loneliness that would grow as I worked among men whose hearts would be closed and minds set against change.  In Joseph I had experienced the best that is in man and I would miss him as only a son can miss their father.  I held him as he drew his last breath and the sorrow of his passing was only mitigated by the joy of knowing he was safe forever.

The days that followed were very difficult for My Mother.  Mary had lost, with the passing of Joseph, joy and the comfort that comes from loving someone who loves you and understands you.  Joseph was a strong pillar that My Mother could lean on and he protected Her as much as he could from the hardships of life and, at times, the cruelty of others.  There was a great emptiness in Our lives that We filled the best We could with prayer, with work, with continuing Joseph’s acts of charity. It was not long before My uncles began to pressure My Mother in forcing Me to marry, for Her good and for Mine.  They told Her Joseph had been too lenient with Me and She would regret this in Her old age if She did not take a firm stand with Me.  They hounded Her for the next three years, but Mother, always patient, always kind, would look at Me and say I was all She needed and I was My own Man and would choose for Myself My Way of Life.

I knew My time was soon approaching and I worked hard so I could set aside a little money for Mother so She and I would not have to worry so much after I left to begin My Mission.

Those years before I left were precious to Us Both.  We worked, prayed and went about Our days aware that what had been was ending.  What I had come for would soon come to fulfillment which was a joy and a great grief to Us Both.  I would look at My Mother and I could see as the days passed lines forming around Her Eyes caused by tears shed at night when She thought I could not hear or see.  Around Me She was always joyful and reassuring Me that She would be alright.  I told Her, to comfort Her, that I would be back often and that I would need Her at times to be with Me as I traveled.  This was a comfort, but also a trial, for Mother found it difficult to be among large crowds.  Most women in that time did very little traveling, it was not our way, and so it would be hard on Her, but it gave Her comfort also to know that She would be able to look after Me and comfort Me when I needed it.

And so the time finally arrived for Me to obey My Father in Heaven and to begin a new era for man.  I would, by My Teachings, show man the Face of the Father and instruct man in the Ways of God, and by My Death I would bring about healing and union with God which Adam had lost. 

It may seem that I did very little to prepare for My Mission, but you are sadly mistaken.  I used those years to grow as Man in union with the Father.  As God I was never separated from Him.  As Man I learned to pray and to walk the path set before every man by God, and My Life with Mary and Joseph taught Me unconditional love as a man, and life in Nazareth was a microcosm of life everywhere.  You had the Just and the Sinner, and you had those who straddled the fence without enough courage to be either good or bad.  There was the Proud and the Humble, the Rich and the Poor.  Everything that I would experience in My travels I had seen in that village.  I learned how to approach people by using everyday means.  I took the lessons learned from village to village and used them to teach of God and His wonderful Ways.  It is the simple things in life that are the most valuable and the most usable.

I will end this chapter by saying that like every man I had learned all that I would need at the knees of My parents and blessed is the parent who teaches well.

I bless you.

 

Chapter Eight – Into the Desert

 

When I left My Mother in Nazareth I spent two weeks walking from village to town just observing the people and listening to their stories.  Each person’s life is a personal journey and every person has a story to tell and the stories are as varied as the number of people telling them.  After two weeks I knew that I needed a time apart for spiritual preparation for the work ahead.  I realized as I listened to the people that there was no one way to reach all hearts and I needed guidance from My Father, and I needed quiet time to pray, to meditate on all I had heard and seen, so I went to a remote area, mostly desolate of vegetation, taking along bread and water and some figs.

I spent forty days fasting and praying.  I was fortifying My Soul for the work ahead, and I was disciplining Mind and Body, for no athlete enters a contest without disciplining himself and gathering the strength and physical resources needed to endure the trial that is part of every contest.  It is not always the strongest and fastest that win, but the one who has enough self-discipline to persevere to the end.  It is the same in the spiritual life.  To reach your goal which is Heaven a soul must learn discipline and perseverance.

In the desert I communed with the Father which filled My Soul with peace, joy, and a great desire that was like a burning flame to fulfill His Will and to deliver His children and return them to Him.  The Father was asking more of Me than just redeeming My brothers and sisters since I was paying the price as man, but I was also to show to them His Face through My presence with them, and through the Teachings I would show them the sure Way to Him.

I came by the Father’s Will to destroy the kingdom of Satan in the world, and I used those forty days to prepare to come against him.  All fasts are difficult, especially in the beginning, for it takes determination, perseverance and grace to subdue the body to the spirit, but that first fast at the beginning of the work was, for the most part, a joy for the Father was with Me, and with the Spirit We communed in love.  The days passed quickly and although My body thinned, My spirit rose and I gathered strength.  During that time I was a man in his full strength and I had not yet experienced the loneliness, the fatigue and the hard hearts that would drain Me.  I was looking forward to announcing to all that would hear that they were children of God, loved by the Father and created to be with Him forever, and that He so loved them that He sent Me into the world to redeem them and to live among them as a Light that would guide them safely Home if they would but listen, trust in Me, and follow what I would teach them.

As God I knew what lay ahead, but as man My Heart was filled with hope, and the love that I had for My fellowman would surely be recognized and accepted.  All these thoughts, hopes, desires nourished and sustained Me and finally it was time to leave this place of rest and commune, and enter the battle.

As it says in Scripture, as I was preparing to enter into the work, Satan came.  He did not know that I was God Incarnate.  The Father had shielded this information from him, and Mother, Joseph and I had lived quietly in order to protect that knowledge until the appointed time that it would be revealed.

There has always been much discussion on how much Satan knew or did not know.  Satan was aware that there was something special about Mary and about Me, but he believed that We were holy souls dedicated to God, but We did not fit what he was looking for.  Satan knew the Messiah had been rumored to be born and he had tempted old Herod into killing the babes in and around Bethlehem just to be certain.  Satan believed the Messiah would come from a powerful family in the line of David, for in his pride he was looking for a powerful warrior king who would be a worthy adversary to him.  He knew that the Second Person of the Trinity would become man and he could not believe that God Incarnate would not appear in power and majesty.  The story of a baby born of poor parents in a cave made no sense to him.  He watched Us, but there was no sign of what he was looking for so he focused elsewhere as I grew in age and in the approval of My Father.

What drew him to the desert to Me that day was the Light that filled My Soul after communing with the Father and praying and fasting.  What he saw he did not understand, for My Divinity was still shielded from his understanding.  He believed another great prophet was about to rise in Israel and now he was confused for the Baptist was preaching the preparation of the people for the Messiah which could make him the Precursor that was mentioned by the Prophets.  But, if I were another great prophet being raised by God, which was the forerunner; or maybe neither would be.  He felt the Presence of God strongly with Me and so, taking all precautions, he decided to divert Me if possible.  The three temptations mentioned in Scripture are the three greatest pitfalls to Man.

The first is earthly pleasures, the second is earthly power, and when those two failed he used the last and most deadly; tempting God Himself by placing one’s self in the position of demanding that God meet their needs.

This one may be difficult for some to understand, but it is the demanding of Divine intervention because you want it.  Even if it seems for a noble and holy purpose, no one has the right to demand anything from God.  He gives because He is Goodness and Mercy.  If it is for your good and serves to bring you or others to Him, He may grant a miracle, but all miracles are gifts.

When he failed with these three tempts he left, but he was on the watch.

My children, this time of My Life was put into Scripture for several reasons.

One, it is a lesson for all souls that before you undertake any work for God you must humbly and seriously prepare for it, and the best way is not to make a plan and set your goals by human reason alone, but pray and fast and be in solitude as much as possible.  Ask the Father’s guidance.  Seek His Will and His Plan.  Prayer and fasting make all things clear and they are the foundation on which you build any undertaking for God.  And, My children, everything that you do, which is good, is an undertaking for God.  That is why prayer, fasting, and seeking God in silence should be a part of your daily lives.  You do not need to fast from food each day, but there are other things that can be offered.  Fast from gossiping, fast from wasting time doing things that bring no profit to your soul.

The second lesson is a little less obvious.  Satan always strikes when least expected or when you are physically tired.  After forty days of fasting I was physically tired and My Body needed to resume normal nourishment.  Satan came because he felt My weakened physical condition might help him win Me over.  When you are physically weak your mind is not as sharp and he probes for a weak spot to attack the soul.  Be vigilant always and take care of your body as well as your soul.

The third point I wish to make is the more Satan sees a soul persevering and growing in love for God, the more he will attack for you are his enemy.  Your love and obedience to God not only keeps you out of his hands, but you are a threat to his plans to take other souls.  Your life witnesses to the goodness and power of God and you draw souls to God by your example and by your deeds.  And in your persevering, God not only grants you grace, but by your actions he mercifully grants graces to others and, so, souls slip away from Satan.  Satan will try to stop you, but be at peace for you are marked with My Sign and you belong to the Father.

I will end this chapter with a word of thanks to all the humble souls who resist each day the world, the flesh, and the desire to be equal with God.

I bless you.

 

Chapter Nine – The Evangelist

 

Child, today I will begin to speak of My years of evangelizing.  Today I will start with My meeting with My cousin John at the Jordan.  I had not seen John for many years.  When his parents died he went into the desert to pray, to fast and prepare for his mission.  He had come out of the desert several years before I met him at the Jordan.  He had been going up and down the length of Israel announcing the appearance of the Messiah.  He had formed a group of disciples who he instructed and who helped him in his work.  He prepared the people by announcing that the time of the Messiah was here and that the nation must prepare by doing penance and being cleansed of their sins.

Instead of sending the people to the Temple to make sin offerings, he used immersion in water as an outward sign of cleansing from sin.  This was something that upset the priests and Pharisees much because it was taking money from the Temple through the buying of sacrificial animals, but more than this, he was teaching the people a new way of approaching God.    John was always clear that this Baptism by water was symbolic, that the Messiah, when He came, would give power to the act that would give hope to the people.

On the day I went to the Jordan, I went with a two-fold purpose.  The first was to meet John and let him know that My Time had come. The second was to close the space between the old way and the new way which was beginning.

When I told John that it was necessary for him to baptize Me it was true.  When I stepped into the water the water was just water.  When he submerged Me the power of the Second Person of the Trinity changed the water and the act from being symbolic to having Real Power.  From John’s words you understand he knows I am the Messiah, but filled with the Spirit, he says ‘Behold the Lamb of God’ and with those words he declared My Divinity.  With My presenting Myself John knew his time was growing short. 

When I left that day the Jordan, John, who would become My Apostle, followed Me.  Two of My Apostles had been disciples of my cousin John.  They were well trained, both in spiritual matters and in dealing with people.  I would, as their new Teacher, begin to teach them, and the other ten I would choose, in My Ways.  John, my cousin, had taught his disciples love of God, but his ways were the ways of old Israel.  I would form My Apostles and disciples in the Way of their Master.  I would teach them to be meek and humble of heart and to work untiringly and without judgment among their brothers and sisters, and this would be no easy task for I would teach them that all people created by the Father were their brothers and sisters.  This notion was totally alien to old Israel who held God as their personal property.

That first day of My Ministry was a great joy, for as I watched John baptizing so many, I knew he had prepared as well as he could the hearts of the people to receive Me.  It was a joy to finally appear in public for it meant that soon many would open their hearts to the Father, to His Love and Mercy, and for these My Passion and Death would be of great benefit.  These whose hearts would be opened would be the first fruits that I would present to the Father and they would be among the first to enter Heaven.  I loved My People, I loved Israel both as God and Man, and now I was ready to bring to fulfillment the covenant made with Moses, for God was truly walking among the People and leading them out of the darkness of sin and opening the gates of Heaven, the True Promised Land, for all who would follow Me and persevere to the end.

One of the questions often discussed is did John know that I was the Messiah and that I was True God and True Man?  The answer is yes.  His words at the Jordan and his sending John and James to follow Me answers that question.  Later he would send some of his disciples, who had stayed with him to help him finish his work, to Me and have them ask if I were the Messiah.  John did not send them because he wanted to know, he already knew, he sent them because his time was over and he loved them and he wanted them to become My disciples.  This was the last gift he could give to Me and to them.  His gift to Me were men of strength, courage and love for God who would remain faithful to Me.  His gift to them was to send them to the Messiah and God that they had been serving.  It is written as the twig is bent so grows the tree.  John was a man of towering strength and he had raised up disciples in the proper way and made them strong in Faith, Hope and Love.

My children, there are many lessons to be learned from this short meeting at the Jordan.  You see in John a man who worked for God with all his heart, mind and strength.  He was a man with power among the people, yet when I approached he laid down his power and popularity and immediately bent down before Me if not physically, spiritually.  He only baptized Me because I told him that it was necessary and as further proof he sent two of his best disciples to Me immediately.

The second lesson to be learned was that I humbly followed the Will of My Father, and even though I was the God-Man, the awaited Messiah, I did not arrive at the Jordan with a great fanfare.  I set the tone of My teaching years on that day.  I came quietly and willingly to John to fulfill the Will of My Father and to give joy to My cousin.

My children, when you start something new for God do you do so with a meek and humble heart?  Wanting to obey fully the Will of God, do you begin simply and with the intention of bringing joy to others or do you demand to be the center of attention and to be honored with no thought for the feelings of others?  God rewards those who can bend their heads and stoop to lift another.

I bless all those with open hearts who are humble and persevering.

I bless you.

 

Chapter Ten – The Choosing of the Apostles

 

Today I wish to speak of the choosing of the Apostles.  As Scripture says, I called each one except for Judas. 

This Scripture does not say, but it is true.  James and John were the first to follow Me, but also others followed out of curiosity and because James and John let it be known that My cousin John had pointed Me out as the Messiah.

In Scripture it seems that I gathered the Twelve quickly and that others followed as disciples, but that is not so.  As we moved about we gathered followers who more or less stayed with us.  At first the disciples came and went.  That is why James went to get Peter.  John went to speak to his brother and one by one those that would become Apostles joined those following Me.  This did not happen overnight. 

I chose eleven of the Apostles because I recognized in them first and foremost good hearts and strong characters, even though Matthew and Simon Zealot would not have been thought of as men with good hearts, but I saw in them kindness and the ability to change.  These eleven ranged in age from one who was very young, not yet twenty, to Bartholomew who was almost an old man; he was approaching sixty.  They varied in personality and rigidity of mind, but all were teachable.  I chose such a varied group for two reasons.

One was to show that people of all ages and regardless of lifestyles could come to Me if they but chose to and persevered.  The second reason I chose them was to show that My future Church was to choose those for leadership from all walks of life and from the young to the old.  The only necessary qualifications were good hearts, a desire to serve, and perseverance in fulfilling their task.

Now I will speak of the twelfth.  Judas Iscariot was a young man closest in age to John.  He came from a wealthy family and he was Temple trained.  He would seem to many a perfect person to put into a position of leadership.  He had all the world considers valuable assets; he was young, educated, manly in appearance with all the right connections.  When Judas came to Me asking Me to join the other disciples he was not much different from many young men coming from families of position.  I saw in him a soul struggling between wanting to be good and live a godly life and, on the other hand, there was a streak of pride in him that ran deep.  He thought himself superior to most men intellectually and, being trained to be accepted in higher circles, he felt his talents and training put him into a superior position.  He also had a fondness for the best of material things.

In the beginning I encouraged him to follow his good tendencies, but to do so not as a disciple but in the position he would have had if he had not met Me.  He was so attracted to Me for he saw Good and he so wanted to be good.  He also recognized in Me a possibility of having both worlds.  My fame was growing and he saw that I was intelligent and presented Myself in a way that was going to cause many to follow Me, and as I worked miracles he came to believe that I was the Messiah, and in the old Scrolls it said the Messiah would reign in splendor and the earth would be His footstool.  He read over and over all the passages that spoke of power, prestige and victory, and he dismissed all the passages that foretold My Suffering and Death.  Like many today, he believed only what he wanted to believe and so he begged to stay with Me.

I foreknew that he was the weak one, the one who could and would betray, but in justice I had to try to save him because if I had turned him away, what would others say through the centuries?  I had been sent to save all men, not just those who would readily follow Me, not just those who were good and had never fallen, or those that I already knew could be turned with help and grace.  Judas, in the beginning, was an ordinary man and I gave him the same love and attention that I gave to John and to the others.  In some ways I made Myself more available to him because he was like a weak child that needed extra care if he were not to die.

So, in the first year, out of the disciples I chose the Twelve that would become the core from which I would build the Church, and from the rest of My followers I chose a group that worked closely with Me and who I sent out to spread the Word everywhere in the country and that the Messiah had risen.  They would, especially in the second and third year, go ahead of Me and the Apostles to gather people to hear the Teachings and to receive healings of body and spirit.  This group of disciples devoted their lives to the work and did much traveling.  My other disciples remained in their towns to teach of Me and to prepare the people for when I came or the Apostles would come.  Eventually many of these became the first leaders of the Church in their communities.  I prepared an ever growing network of people to cover the whole nation, for my time of teaching and curing would be short and I had to establish a firm, stable basis for the new Church to grow from.  My disciples, like the Apostles, were of all ages and both male and female, and in truth the women disciples often worked harder and with greater love than the men.  Most never left their villages, but they taught well and witnessed with great love.  Especially they taught the children who would one day make the Church flower. 

The first year I worked side by side with the Twelve teaching them the meaning of Scripture and helping them to free themselves from preconceived ideas about the Messiah and about the Kingdom.  That first year we were not always together because some were married and had to see to their families; others were fishermen and helped other family members to make a living.  Slowly I withdrew them from the world.  I helped them balance both ministry and family.

My children, I include this chapter to help you see more clearly how I worked, and to help you to understand that the task before Me was not easy.  I did not use My Divinity to make things easier for Myself, for the Apostles or any of My followers.  In My humanity I taught the Apostles and disciples, by witnessing through example, how to teach, preach and gather souls by everyday means.  I used miracles only when necessary or when the Faith of a person deserved the reward of the gift of healing.

In that first year there was not as many miracles as would follow because I wanted the Twelve and the disciples to understand that true conversion comes through blood, sweat and tears.  A miracle never guarantees a conversion and at times can be detrimental if the soul is not in the right disposition.  Prayer, fasting and persevering in living what you are teaching; that alone with the grace of God will bring about true and lasting conversion in a soul, and souls must be approached with love and being non-judgmental, and this was the hardest to teach.

This teaching My Apostles not to judge by human standards, but to love all unconditionally, caused Me the greatest fatigue and tears, for in that first year they spent a lot of time passing judgment on each other and found it difficult living together much less loving unconditionally.  I could not send them out until their hearts were truly open to the people or they would have caused great harm to the people and to Me.

My children, remember this: you cannot work for God unless you can see good in others and not pass judgment on them.  You cannot work for Love if you cannot love those you are going to.  This is the primary reason why so many ministries fail.

I bless those with ears to hear.

I bless you.

 

ADDENDUM TO CHAPTER 10 – 3/9/06

 

Child, one of the Fathers raised the question of why I said it was John and James who were the disciples that followed Me from the Jordan and why I said they were the first of My disciples.

I will start with the fact that there must be a clarification about who James is.  It is not the brother of John but My cousin James, brother of Jude.  James, My cousin, left Nazareth shortly after I did to be with Me as I began My ministry.  Jude followed a short time after that and came to Me.  James, My cousin, was with Me at the Jordan.  He also was with John, known as the Baptist.  He was not a close disciple of John but knew him because he was family. 

In the Gospel of John it says the Baptist sent two disciples after Me.  John identifies the one as Andrew and that is correct.  The other disciple that John mentions but does not name is himself.  James, My cousin, was with John and Andrew, but John does not mention that. 

I am telling you this because I am telling My story.  John remained with Me and James, and those two were truly the first to follow Me with their hearts.  Andrew left to get his brother Peter and returned with him, but at that time, even though they believed they had found the promised Messiah, they did not stay permanently.  For a time they continued making a living by fishing and would come to Me, or I to them, from time to time.  By the end of the first year they were with Me most of the time, but still returned to fishing when necessary.  Remember, Peter was married and those of the Apostles who were married had families to feed.

I add this to give clarification and a more complete picture of the lives of the Apostles.

I bless those with ears to hear.

I bless you.

 

 

Chapter 11 – The Days of Mission

 

In the last chapter I spoke of the gathering of the Twelve and the forming of them and those who would become My principal disciples.  In this chapter I wish to speak of the mission during the first and second years.

The pattern set for those two years was simple.  We would gather at a predetermined spot during the first weeks of Spring.  We would spend ten days all together, Apostles and disciples, praying, enjoying each one another’s company and My teaching them the truths of God, and I also would work on filing down their rough edges.  Remember, I told you that they had difficulty in learning to love one another and not judge one another.

During these ten days I would discuss with them, both privately and in a group, those things that needed to be changed in their attitudes and beliefs.  I tried to keep the atmosphere relaxed so that their hearts and minds would be open to what I said.  It was also a time when they could question Me about things that I said that they did not fully understand.  Sometimes I would have to go over the same lesson time after time, but I did so patiently, lovingly, and with great kindness because it is hard for people to take what they hear and come to an understanding and then make it a part of their belief structure and their daily living.  Also, I spent much time in teaching them how to approach people and share My Words with them. 

Most of those who followed Me were ordinary men with either limited education or no education at all, but they did understand the toil and sufferings of everyday life, and so they could communicate with those that they met along the way, and they were comfortable with the people and could share truly from their hearts the joys and the sorrows of every man.  These ordinary disciples were giants in proclaiming Me and My Way.  They touched the hearts of the people in a way that the scholars and the priests in the Temple could not.

In the evenings we would divide up into small groups and the members of reach group would take turns repeating My lessons of the day.  I would move among the groups answering any questions that might arise.  We ate together, we prayed together, and we slept out in the open and under these conditions a unity of heart and purpose formed that in time became the foundation of the present Church.

During these ten days there would be times that I spent alone with the Twelve giving them deeper instruction and sometimes stronger correction because the disciples looked to them as leaders, and if they were in an area where I was not present the disciples went to the Apostles, as they would have Me, for guidance and help.  I impressed into the minds and hearts of the Apostles that they must work harder, longer and with greater perfection than the others because they were living representatives of Me.  Their witness was looked upon and judged as coming from Me, so the standards that they must meet were greater than for the others.

The Apostles represented, as I have said, every age, every walk of life and every personality type.  Sometimes the discussions among the Apostles were quite heated in the beginning.  The older ones thought they knew better than the younger ones; the younger ones thought the older ones were too slow and out of touch with the world they lived in.  My cousins, James and Jude, would often take offense if anyone seemed to speak against Me on any matter.  John and his brother James were called sons of thunder by Me because they had quick tempers and often reacted without thinking.  Peter and Andrew had opposite personalities and sometimes would provoke each other, but if anyone spoke against one, they had two to deal with.  Philip and Bartholomew were among the oldest along with Simon Zealot and these three tended to want to stay together.  They had more in common and also as we traveled around they found it difficult at times to keep up with the others.  Judas…well what can I say about Judas?  He was intelligent and considered himself the most practical.  He could be charming when he wanted and yet he could be prickly and take offense over the smallest things.  He never thought he was appreciated.  I gave him responsibility over the common purse because he had a great need to feel in control.  I knew that he must learn to give up control, but for all his gifts, from a worldly point of view, Judas was insecure and that’s why he needed to feel in control, so I balanced the one against the other and gave him a position of responsibility so that he might feel loved and secure and be more readily open to what I wanted to teach him.

Matthew and Thomas I have saved for last because these two are little understood.  As you know, Matthew was a tax collector, which means he was not respected, or liked, by either his own people or the Romans.  Both felt that tax collectors were necessary evils, but not to be trusted by either side.  The Romans felt they were being cheated by the tax collectors and their own people felt they were in league with the Romans and that they grew rich by stealing from their own.  When I called Matthew no one was more surprised than him.  I had watched him for months as he watched Me.  He would strain to hear My every Word and I knew My Words had taken root in his heart as it had in few others.  When I called him he left everything to follow Me.  He left wealth; he left his friends who were also outside of the acceptable people.  More importantly, he left his old self which like all men is made up of belief, prejudices, contempt for law in some areas, and he immediately gave up a comfortable life to follow Me.  He came immediately when called, not weighing the cost or the timing.  He surrendered totally to Me and this is very rare.  Matthew would become the backbone of the Apostles just as Peter would become the head.

When a person can stand up and leave everything to follow Truth they have backbones of steel.  They can stand against the world, Satan and any personal defects.  How rare this is in man and for that reason the other Apostles would look to Matthew for strength.

Thomas, My Thomas; how I cherish him.  Not much is said about him until the night of My Resurrection, and from the writings you know, or guess, that he had run the furthest when I was captured.  It was not because he was more cowardly than the rest, but because his heart was so tender and his betrayal of Me rocked his senses.  He wandered around for almost a week in a daze.  He was torn in two because his mind told him that it was impossible for God to be captured and killed, and his heart tore at him because he had abandoned and betrayed his Master and beloved Friend.  He wandered around asking; how could this be that things had gone so wrong?  How could I have left My enemies capture Me if I were the God-Man, the Messiah promised?  How could it end on the cross?  And even if I were just a man, I was a good man.  How could he, and the whole nation, turn against a good and holy man?  And so his thoughts circled round and round in his head.  Finally he wept himself into exhaustion and he slept.  When he awoke his head was clear.  He still could not find an answer for all his questions, but he knew he loved Me and he remembered, finally, the times I had tried to warn him and the others about My impending Death and he remembered about the Resurrection, and so he began to travel in the direction of Jerusalem hoping to find the others.  He could not quite bring himself to believe that I had been speaking of a true physical Resurrection.  He thought I might have meant that after My Death the Church might resurrect through the Apostles and disciples, so he knew that he needed to find Peter and the others to see what had happened to them, and to find out what they were preparing to do.  My Thomas, the ever practical one, could accept this last possibility.  Much to his surprise, when he found Peter he did not find him planning anything, but he found Peter and the Apostles remaining rejoicing over My Resurrection.  They told him of My coming to them on that Sunday night and they told him of how many people had come saying that they had seen Me at the same hour in many places.  They told him of the women finding the tomb empty and of Mary Magdalene being the first to speak to Me after I had visited My Mother.  He had trouble assimilating all that he had been told.  How could this be?  It could only be if I were God, but My Death still haunted him and the descriptions he heard of Me being in so many places at once and of My coming to the Apostles in such a strange way made no sense to his practical mind.  And where was I now?  Why did I not show Myself at the Temple if all this was true?  Why would I go through the Passion and My Death and show Myself to so few and not to the whole nation?  If I just showed Myself, all would run to Me and follow Me wherever I led them.  Why, why, why; the question man always asks God. 

Thomas is every man.  To Thomas’ credit, once he saw Me he was the first of My Apostles to say what was echoing in their hearts; ‘My Lord and My God’.

I will end this chapter by saying that each of My Apostles reflects all of humanity; the strengths, the weaknesses, the good and the evil.  The Church is founded on people for the Church is made up of people and there is the saint and the sinner in each person.  The path laid out before each person is one that leads to Me, but it is your choice to follow it.  Eleven followed it and changed the world.  One did not and he broke My Heart.

I will continue in the next chapter our life on the road.

I bless you.

 

Chapter 12 – On the Road

 

Halfway through the first year the Twelve appointed to be the foundation through which I would work were ready to begin extended trips that would involve weeks separated from home in order to evangelize.  In the beginning I kept them with Me and we would move from village to town and I would speak to the people who would gather.  The Twelve were learning, along with the people, My way in approaching the people was different from the other rabbis who had come to teach.  I did not seek out the leading citizens or the head of the synagogue, but would go to where the common people gathered and I would start a discussion among the Twelve on a point of Law, or I would tell a parable to explain the Kingdom and the Ways of the Father.  People would gather to hear the discussion or the parable and this is how I made Myself known.

I would have one of the Apostles hand out what money or food that we had and give it to the poor.  There were always people in need, physically and spiritually, and our kindness drew them.  The poor are not too proud to ask for help and someone usually asked Me to pray for them, and because My Heart is moved by the needy, I would heal those that had faith.

As I said before, during the first year I healed by miracles, but not as often as later, because I was teaching the Twelve how to evangelize.  They needed to learn how to mingle with the people, no matter the class or appearance, and to speak to them of God.  This was not an easy task.  There were so many prejudices that had to be overcome.  You cannot teach effectively what you do not practice, and so I put the Twelve into many situations that they would have naturally avoided.  We went to lepers and we went to the great halls of the wealthy, and they struggled to be in both places for they feared the one and felt so out of place with the other.

As we moved about, I began to send them ahead to the next village or town to announce My impending arrival.  I told them to search out the best area from which I could speak and then to go and inform as many people as possible that I would speak that day.  Usually I would time My arrival for just after lunch or just after the end of business or work so that as many could be there as possible.

It was not difficult usually to gather the people, for I was a new teacher and there were not the diversions that your generation has.  The people would gather to listen and, because I spoke to them in ways they could understand and with kindness, they would stay to listen.  Soon My reputation went before Me and as soon as an Apostle or disciple arrived to announce My coming, the people would spread the word and the crowds grew.  The Apostles and disciples were gathering courage and, in truth, some of the disciples had more courage than the Apostles.

In the evenings, if the weather was good, we would sleep outside of the towns and villages so that I could review the day and give the Apostles, and those disciples with us, time to ask questions about the teaching or why I did something one way and not another.  These evenings of private instruction were most important because so many of the things I did and said were not what they had heard and seen before.  They knew the Law and the Scriptures, but I was teaching them by drawing out sections and teaching them in a new Light.  I was able to show them how simple were the Laws of the Father, and I showed them His Love in guiding man.  They were used to hearing about the thundering God of Sinai, and I was showing them a Father Who loved them.  I taught them that the old rule of an eye for an eye was to be done away with and Charity and Mercy is what God wanted from His children. 

I told them that soon I would send them out two by two to speak to the people, to repeat to them what they had been taught.  When I first spoke of this the reaction of the Twelve was amusing.  None wanted to go without Me.  They believed no one would listen to them.  Half protested that they were too ignorant; the other half felt they were incapable of moving among all the people.  By the end of the first year I had slowly prepared them to go out for short periods on their own.  I told them to speak to those that they would meet and just talk to them about Me and what I was saying, and then I would come to give further instruction and to heal those in need.  Like children, they thought they could do this as long as I was coming and could help them if they were in need of help.

I wish to speak of another aspect of our evenings together.  I was forming them into a unit that could work effectively, but more than this, I was forming a family.  The relationship that they would need in order to support one another had to be based on love.  They had to learn to live with one another; the old with the young, the hot-tempered with the placid, the strong with the weak, and only love could be the glue that was strong enough to hold them together, especially after I returned to the Father.  If they could not love one another, how could they love My people, even unto death?  As they learned to love and to be patient with one another, not to judge one another, they were learning to live My Way.  This was the most basic teaching and the future rested on it.

My children, I work with you each day in much the same way.  I place you in situations that you do not want to be in order to grow in Faith, Hope and Love.  I ask you to announce Me to those I bring into your day.  I ask you to witness of My Love for all My children.  I teach you to be patient with the old and the young.  I give you opportunities to search out the needy and to help them without judging them.

The foundation of all Christian communities must be love.  In any community where this is not found, dissension, division abound.  Look at yourselves and your religious family.  What do you see and experience?  Do you love without judging?  Are you received with love, patience and kindness?  If the community is bound by love, there I am in the midst of you.  If not, then you are truly not My followers.

Meditate on this and change what needs to be changed.

I bless you.

 

Chapter 13 – The Perfection of the Disciples

 

In the second year I had begun traveling about almost all of the year except for the coldest months, and during that time the Apostles and disciples dispersed and went to their homes.  I returned to Nazareth to be with My Mother and to see to Her needs.  During those months I returned to My work as a carpenter in order to supply Mother with what She would need while I was gone.  I also made any repairs needed to the house so all would be in order when I gathered the Apostles and disciples for the road.

This time at home was precious to Me.  In Her presence I found peace for both mind and body.  My Spirit found refreshment as She went about taking care of Me, Our home and those who came to Her for help.  Mother made Our home a haven for Me, Her Son and Her God.  Her peace, joy and absolute trust in the Father gave Me rest after so many weeks of being surrounded by those whose faith was not as strong as it should be, and who delighted in miracles and rejoiced when we were received well, but would plummet into near depression and questioning when things did not go as they thought they should, or if we met opposition from the leaders of the Scribes and Pharisees who were beginning to take notice of us.

In the Spring of the second year, I left Nazareth with James and Jude and waited at Capernaum for the other Apostles and the closest disciples.  We began our journey from one end of Israel to the other.

I wish to speak about how I taught the Apostles and disciples to work for the Father’s Glory.  In the second year I began to send the disciples out to areas where I could not go because of time and distance.  I trained them to usually go in twos; sometimes more if it was a large area.  Before they left Me I would tell them where the Apostles and I would be at given times during the month.  I would instruct them in what to say when they entered villages or met people along the way.  I told them to announce to one and all that they had seen the Messiah Who had been promised from of old.  They were to tell all who would listen that they had heard for themselves the Messiah’s Words of love, peace and hope.  They were to witness to the miracles they had seen and to announce that the passages written about the Messiah were being fulfilled.  When questioned about who this Messiah was, and where He could be found, they were to tell them that it was I, Jesus of Nazareth of the House of David, Who was the Messiah and that I could be found at the town and on the date I had given them. 

I instructed them to take no money for themselves, but to give to the poor what help they could.  I told them to stay with whoever invited them, to eat what they ate, and to share with them in return all that I taught them.  Without knowing it, they were My Hands and Legs.  They went where I could not go and helped those I could not reach.

The disciples who closely associated with Me were from all classes and had worked in all fields.  Where one might be uncomfortable or lack skill to find an opening to reach the people they found, the other could step into the situation and draw people to Me.  I taught them no matter how the world saw them, they were all equal in the eyes of the Father, for each was working for the Father’s Glory.  Brother must help brother.  This was My Rule, and My disciples began to spread far and wide My teachings and they made Me known to the people so that when I reached a town I would find people gathered and waiting to hear what I had to say.

Personal witness is always the best way to open hearts and minds.  For My disciples, this way of life was a far cry from what they had known, but they adapted well because of their faith in Me and love for Me.

The Apostles are brought forward in the Gospels because from them the Church would be led and taught, but the Apostles could not have done what the disciples did.  They could not have covered so much territory, talked to so many people or connected with the people as the disciples did.  In truth, without the disciples the Church would not have grown as quickly and as far as it did.

My children, it is the same today as then.  There are those who hold authority by appointment and approval of God, but woe to them if they believe they do not need their brothers and sisters to do the bulk of the work.  Every follower of Mine is called to discipleship.  Every disciple must bear witness to Me wherever they are at, and those in authority must respect them and allow them to fulfill the mission I have given them.

I bless those with ears to hear.

I bless you.

 

Chapter 14 – The Training of the Women Disciples

 

Today I wish to speak further of the women disciples.

My first woman disciple was, of course, My Mother Mary.  It was only natural that as My aunts and other women came and wanted to learn My Teachings that I gave them to My Mother.  No one has ever understood Me, and all that I had come to share with the children of God, as My Mother.  I placed the women into Her care.  She taught those close by while I was away traveling, and when others from farther away came and wanted to learn and help Me, I would tell them to wait until the women disciples were called together.  When they were all together, I would teach them during the spare time that I was not out in the surrounding country speaking in the little hamlets and villages.  While I was gone with the Apostles, Mother would teach them by telling them Who I was, why I had come, and She would show them by example how to live holy lives and to help others through deeds of kindness and in any other way needed.  My Mother’s example was the greatest teacher.  The respect She showed Me as God and as Her Son spoke volumes.  Her respect for the Apostles and other disciples gave a clear picture of how the women should act and think.  Holy Mary never pushed Herself forward even though She was My Mother.  She asked humbly what She could do for Me and She addressed the Apostles with great respect and inquired of them if there was any way She could be of service to them. 

When the women were traveling with us, She kept them together with Her love and encouraged them when they were tired and overwhelmed with all the poverty and illness they saw.  She showed them how to approach people with love and gentleness and without judging.  It was difficult for the women to approach strangers, not because they were poor or ill, or because they might be someone of authority, but because the women of My time did not leave their homes to travel except to Jerusalem for the High Holy Days.  Even then they remained with family and close friends.  Their lives, for the most part, was their families and close friends.  They were experiencing, most of them, the world for the first time.  Their hearts were touched by all the misery that mankind experiences and most were dismayed when they realized how cruel people can be to each other.

The Apostles were men who had experienced the world and moved about in it, but few of the women disciples had had that freedom.  The mothers, sisters, aunts of the Apostles and disciples suffered to see their loved ones shunned, sometimes physically attacked and driven from villages when they encountered hardened hearts who would not only not listen, but would become angry when their way of life was challenged.  The women disciples often made many converts by their simplicity, love and humility.  They grew in these virtues, but for some it was more difficult than others.  They too had to learn how to live with one another; the young respecting the old and seeing to their needs.  The older ones had to learn to respect the ideas of the young ones and allow them to take the lead at times because they were younger, stronger and more adaptable. 

These women, for the most part, were used to being the center of their homes and family.  When traveling they had to adapt to the ways of others and allow the Apostles, as well as Myself, to set the pace and schedule of the day, and when told, they remained behind without grumbling when they would have liked to accompany the men into towns that they had heard of but had not seen.  They too were learning not only to evangelize, but they were learning to grow in Spirit and Truth.  These women, when they returned to their villages and towns, began to teach My Way to all those who touched their lives.  The young ones who were married would instruct their children and bring them up in My Faith.  Those unmarried would one day marry and bring their husbands and future children into the Church, but more importantly, they would teach them by example how to lead holy lives and acquire the Kingdom.

My children, I have spoken of the women disciples in these last two chapters with such detail, not because they were better than the men, but because their hearts were open and they adapted quickly to My Way, and because the women were the first teachers of the very young, and because women influence their communities in ways that men do not.  In every generation, men seem to have the power, but if a group of wives, mothers, daughters, oppose something that the men want, who do you think will win in the end?  Women united for good are a powerful force that sooner or later will bring about changes for the good of all, but also, the opposite is true.  If women become self-centered, prideful and willful, they will destroy their family’s peace and do great harm to their husbands and children.  A group of women bent on their own will and their own gratification can destroy a community.

My children, because women are the first teachers of the young, and were created to be the support of their husbands and the strength of virtue in both home and community, it is vital that your daughters be taught to be virtuous, humble and God-centered, and men must respect them, consult them and treat them as dear to the Heart of God.  If this is done, you will see your world change; you will see a great spiritual renewal that will lift all mankind.

I bless those with ears to hear.

I bless you.

 

Chapter 15 – Dissension Among the Apostles

 

Today I wish to speak of the interaction of the Apostles.

The first year was a time of them getting to know Me and each other.  The second year the Apostles began to go out to announce Me as I have said.  Toward the end of the second year I began sending them two by two and they would have to work together for longer periods without Me present.  They began to take responsibility for teaching about Me and the coming of the Kingdom.  They were becoming well known as My chief followers and people began to bring the sick and the possessed to them, as well as seek their counsel in religious disputes, and people would also come to them asking them to settle business and domestic disputes.  They were recognized as My followers and they were asked to judge in My Name.

At first they did not know what to do.  They found that announcing Me and sharing My Teachings was the easiest part of the work.  They brought at first the sick and possessed to Me, but I told them that I was empowering them to heal physically, spiritually, and to drive out demons.  They were to do it in My Name, but the power was theirs to exercise and it was time to take courage, to trust in the Lord’s help, and reach out to those suffering.

In every group of people there are those who by nature are more confident in themselves and in what they believe, and in every group you have the shy who want to hide, and, sorry to say, there are those who jockey for position for one reason or another.  The same held true with the Apostles.

I rotated them when sending them out, trying to put two together who could balance each other.  In this way the more outgoing could help the shy, but I was firm in that both had to carry equal weight in the work.  More often, I tried to balance gifts; where one could speak well and another could reach hearts because of their simplicity and kindness.

In the beginning I allowed some degree of being with those they were comfortable with.  Bartholomew and Phillip liked to travel together.  Matthew and Simon Zealot liked to be together.  The brothers were familiar with each other and liked to be together.  Thomas, the level-headed one, I put with Judas who was a gifted speaker, and they both liked things of culture.  But for their own good, I soon began putting one of the older ones with one of the younger ones, and both learned patience and tolerance.  I broke up the brothers so they had to bond with the other Apostles, and on some days, depending on how far they would have to travel and those they would have to meet, I would put them together in combinations that best fit the situation.

During the few times that I went off by Myself to pray and fast, and the Apostles were sent to work without Me anywhere near, I began to firmly establish Peter as the leader.  They all liked Peter and, for the most part, no one questioned My decision.  Only one felt he should not have been chosen.  He was not the most educated, nor experienced in the world as some of the others.  He struggled like all the Apostles to let the ‘old’ man die and become an Apostle of the Christ.  Only Judas believed that I had made a mistake and often contention started because Judas thought he knew more and had been overlooked and unappreciated.

He was not the only one who jockeyed for position.  You remember from Scripture the mother of James and John wanting them on My right and left at the coming of the Kingdom.  They would not have left her speak if they had not thought it was a good idea, and you remember the outrage of the other Apostles.  They were so angry because they believed they too deserved those positions.  None knew, at that time, what they were asking for.  They thought they were asking for positions of power and glory.  It was only after My Crucifixion that they understood what those positions meant.

Most of the contention came from human nature that was stretched to the limit by tiredness, lack of privacy and dealing constantly with people, rather among the group or those who came to see the Messiah.  Truly you cannot understand what pressure they were under unless you are in the same circumstances of always having to see to the needs of others before yourself, and to always be watched and criticized because of little things that are misunderstood. 

There was also the constant pressure and criticism of those in power in the Temple.  People would always ask all of us to explain why the leaders found fault with us.  They would want our side of the story, sometimes more out of curiosity than to find truth, and the Apostles were very aware that everything they said and did was reported back to My enemies.  They tried hard to watch their words and actions so that they did not hurt Me before the High Priest and those in charge of the Temple.  It was so frustrating to them that their words were twisted and used against Me.  No matter how careful they were, or no matter how innocent they were in helping a brother or sister, they were called sinners because they mingled with the poor, the outcast of society, and sinners in order to preach the Good News and give hope to all.

I hid the hurt that I felt when people refused the help that I had come to give them.  I was hurt for their sake because they did not know Who they had turned away and what blessings I could have given them.  I had to hide the hurt from My Apostles in order to give them courage and to help them persevere.  I had to present a confident and peaceful exterior in order to help them to hold on when driven away from villages and synagogues.  If I were confident that the Good News would spread, they would draw from My confidence and help the other disciples.  My Heart ached for them, for they had given up so much to follow Me and I knew how much more that they would have to endure for the Church to rise.  I held knowledge to Myself in order to protect them, and even when I warned them that I would be rejected and killed, I would always leave them with hope.  I would be honest with them, but would help them see that nothing could stop the Father’s Plan for His children.

In the second year there was still great hope among the Apostles that all of Israel would be converted.  They saw how well I was received by most of the people and the miracles which I began to multiply were drawing greater and greater crowds.  The number of disciples was growing large and word was spreading everywhere that Jesus of Nazareth was working the miracles described by the prophets that would be the sign of the true Messiah.  This belief in the conversion of Israel to Me held all twelve together, along with the ever growing number of disciples.

My children, I look at the Church today and I see the legacy of the Apostles.  They were men with all the faults of men, but through grace and perseverance they established the Church on a firm foundation.  Because they were men and not Angels, they could identify with the sufferings of all God’s children.  They grew in holiness, all except one, and they showed the world that holiness was possible by following My Way.  They showed through their lives, and their deaths, that the world can be changed by love.

My children, you are the benefactors of these men.  They set an example for you to follow.  Are you doing so, or are you complacent and willing to reap the benefits but not follow them and reach out to also share the Good News?  The Apostles, by their example, teach you that no matter your age, no matter your position in the world, no matter if you are sinner or Saint, you can grow in Me if you are willing to allow Me to teach you, guide you and use you for your good and the good of others.

I bless those with ears to hear.

I bless you.

 

 

Chapter 16 – The Third Year

 

Today I wish to speak about the first six months of the third year.

As we began our travels in the Spring of the third year, I felt torn in two.  I knew that this was My last year in which to teach the Apostles, disciples and the people directly.  I also knew that this was My last year with My Mother and My family*, and after the next Passover all would be changed.  I knew that I had to leave Most Holy Mary behind after I went to the Father.  Her work as Teacher, as a Mother to the Apostles, and Mother of the fledgling Church would begin in earnest when I ascended to the Father.  My Heart was filled with grief when I thought of all the sorrow that laid ahead for My Mother, for the Apostles and the Church. 

There was also a yearning that was growing within Me to accomplish what I had been sent for.  This yearning grew like a fire stoked by My Love for mankind and for the Father.  I knew full well the price that would have to be paid and in My humanity I saw that before Me always.  There was also a growing joy that soon I would be united once again in Heaven with the Father and the Holy Spirit.  I cannot explain how, in My Divinity, I longed for this because in truth, in My Divinity I was never separated; a Mystery of all mysteries.  I had found great joy, God living among men, God-Man on earth tasting the fruits of creation, of walking and talking with the creature that I prized beyond your understanding, but I also longed for the union in Heaven without the limitations imposed upon Me as true man.  All these things played through My Mind as we walked farther, worked harder, to teach those I had not come to before, and I retraced My steps trying to shore up the work that had already taken root in the places I had been.  I was pushing the Apostles harder physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I gave the first warning of what was to happen to fulfill Scripture and to bring about the redemption of man.  Their reaction was one of denial.  They could not foresee how weak the faith of Israel would be.  They would dwell only on the passages that heralded Me as King and Deliverer of the people.  They would not open their spiritual eyes and ears to understand the other passages in Scripture that described My Death and the apparent failure of the Messiah.  They would not hear My warnings, and in a combination of love and pride, they thought they knew better and dismissed My Words as if I were a child.  I know throughout the centuries people have puzzled over why at one moment Peter could respond that I was the Son of God and yet they would not believe Me when I tried not only to warn them, but to protect them from false interpretation of the Scriptures.

What was it that dulled them all?  I will tell you.  It is a subtle pride that hides under the cover of love.  Man, and I mean both men and women, want things to go the way they believe is best for others and for themselves.  It is love to a point, but when you refuse to accept as fact the Will of God and embrace it, it is pride.  God knows all things and has His reasons for what He does, for what He wills.  A humble soul does not understand, but will bend and embrace what is willed or done because God is good, because He is All, and a humble person knows and accepts that what is asked is for the best.  The humble person does not have to understand or be given a reason.  A humble person will not ask, or a better way to put it, demand that God justify Himself, clarify Himself, in order for the creature to obey or accept what is before him. 

This subtle pride that I worked so hard to remove from the Twelve is what caused one to betray Me and eleven to abandon Me in the Garden of Gethsemane.  The two with the least pride were able at least to recover enough to go to where they held Me and find out what had happened to Me.  That pride hidden under love betrayed Peter again and caused him to fear for his own life, and he betrayed Me by denying Me three times after only a short time before cockily telling Me that he, Peter, would never betray Me or deny Me. A humble person knows that they are faulty and without God’s help they are capable of falling.  This knowledge is a protection and John, the humblest of the Twelve, before that Holy Thursday, was the only one with the spiritual and moral strength to admit his failure in running away, and so he was able to remain with Me all through My Agony, Crucifixion and Death.  I will speak more of this in a later chapter.

As I said, the first six months I was molding and guiding the Apostles with greater intensity.  It was during this time that those who were the spiritual leaders of the people began to openly speak against Me and to secretly plot My Death.  Many who had remained neutral among the Pharisees and Scribes, waiting to see if I was the one to overthrow the Romans and free Israel, now united with those who were the enemy of the Christ because they saw, and I repeatedly said, I was not a worldly King.  I had not come to save Israel from Caesar, but I had come to deliver them from the bondage of sin and to lead them to the Father.  They were disappointed in Me as a man who would not be king, and they resented My pointing out their failures to spiritually guide the people.  This resentment grew to jealousy and hatred.  When they saw the people following Me, listening to Me instead of to them, they saw their worldly lives being threatened, not physically in the sense of life and death.  They saw their power over the people dwindling.  They saw hope growing in the people and the fear that the people had of them was being replaced with hearts and minds open to freedom and Light.  They felt they were standing at the edge of a cliff and if they could not get rid of Me, they would lose everything they held dear.

As the months passed, the Pharisees and Sadducees began to wait for Me to reach towns and villages, and they would stir up the people, or try to, against Me.  Where they succeeded, we would be driven away, and sometimes physically assaulted.  Where they failed, they would remain in the crowds and heckle or act as wolves in lamb’s skin asking questions that would entrap Me if I was not alert.  They soon found that I was aware of what they were doing, and since I would not step into their traps, they began to plot for a quick resolution to their problems and find a way to kill Me. 

The Apostles and disciples were strained physically and emotionally.  When I gave the discourse on the Bread of Life, you read in John how the disciples split with a majority walking away.  This happened after months of ill-treatment and bewilderment that so many would not listen, and for some I had not lived up to their expectations.  They wanted a strong leader who, with his miracles, would punish and silence those who opposed Me.  I told them that the way to convert is to have a meek and humble heart and that was the greatest power that man could have, but they could not understand, or would not understand.  Even John and James wanted Me to use thunderbolts on those who attacked Me and did not want Me.  So on the day that I gave the discourse on the Bread of Life, their disappointment in Me and their discouragement blinded them to the truth of My Words and many simply left.  Even My Apostles did not know what to do.  They did not understand My Words, but also because they loved Me, and for one other reasons, decided to stay.  It was then that the Father revealed to Peter Who I AM, but as you read further, that subtle hidden pride stifled the Light given and within moments I had to rebuke him for trying to dissuade Me from doing the Father’s Will.  It is hard for man to hold on to the Light if there is even the merest shadow of sin within.

My children, this is a warning to you who call yourselves Mine.  Search your souls for the merest shadow of pride, for it will lead you to deception every time.  It is this subtle pride under the cover of love that has caused the divisions and outright separations among those who call themselves Christians.  There is only one Lord, one Baptism and one Way.  I founded one Church and I prayed at the Last Supper that all would be one as I am One with the Father.

My children, why is there division?  Why do you separate from each other?  Why do you go so far as to hate one another?  PRIDE!!

My children, I bless you for the good you do in My Name, but I tell you, I will hold accountable everyone who brings about division within My Mystical Body. 

I have said it; it will be done.  Amen.

I bless those with ears to hear.

I bless you.

 

*My aunts, uncles, cousins.

 

Chapter 17 – The Last Half of the Third Year

 

This chapter will deal with the last six months of the third year.  I wish to speak of the changes within Jerusalem.

Halfway through the third year there was beginning to build civil unrest among some factions of the people.  The Romans had never been welcome in Israel and the people had not adapted to Roman rule and law as many other nations had.  As conquerors go, Rome was not brutal to those subject to them.  If Roman law was accepted and allegiance to the emperor given, at least outwardly, many nations prospered under Roman control as they brought order but left the people free in commerce as long as taxes were paid.  In many places life went on as before, but with improvements in roads and communication.  Latin was the official language of the Empire and for the first time, language barriers were broken and nations traded freely among themselves. 

Israel was the exception to the rule.  There was no accommodation made to the Romans.  Their pagan gods were an affront to the True God of Israel.  This was true in most hearts, but it also was a reason to discourage mixing with the Romans and adapting to their ways.  If mixing were allowed, in time worship of pagan gods would have been accepted by the less devout of Israel.  Also, the promise made to David was always before the people and they lived for the day when the Messiah would come and deliver them from their enemies, and as they interpreted Scripture, bring them to power and prominence throughout the world.  So you see, few saw any benefit to adapting to Roman standards when soon, they believed, they would overthrow Rome. 

At this time there were groups who were forming to begin an open rebellion against Rome.  If I were the Messiah, or someone else, all to the good, but if not, these were going to attempt to drive Rome out of our country.  Some among these groups believed I was the Messiah and they waited for a sign that I would declare soon My Kingship and call them to arms.  No matter how often I told them My Kingdom was not of this world, they would not believe Me.  I was gathering large crowds everywhere I went.  I had become known from one end of Israel to the other and beyond the borders of Israel.  News of a powerful Teacher Who could work miracles that had not been seen since of old spurred the hopes of many that the time of captivity was about to end, and the promise of the Messiah, as they wanted to believe, was to be fulfilled. 

There began in Jerusalem heated debates over Me.  If I was the Messiah promised, could the Sanhedrin move against Me?  Did it really want to move against Me if I could rid them of Rome?  And if I were the Messiah, the One sent by God, and I did not want to be an earthly King, what did that mean for them?  Already they were losing influence over the people.  If I turned them away from rebellion from Rome, would they begin to adapt to Roman ways, or as My influence grew and the crowds grew larger, Rome’s attention had been drawn to Me, could I bring down Rome’s hand upon them and the people if I were thought to be an instigator against Rome?

There was a third problem, and the one they feared the most; that I was Who I said I was and, from their viewpoint, I was taking the teachings of the prophets and the words of the first Five Books and expanding what had been taught and said.  I was a threat to their religious beliefs, for their hearts were made of stone and their minds closed to all but formula, and to what had become belief over the last few centuries.  This to them was more dangerous than what Rome might do and loss of political and financial control over the people. 

Many today say My Death was plotted because those in power in the heart of the Temple did not know Who I AM, but this is not so.  I taught in the Temple often that last six months.  I worked miracles before their eyes, even raising Lazarus from the dead which was a sign I had promised them as proof that I was the Christ.  From the moment I raised Lazarus they could not deny the truth either to themselves or to the people, and from that day they plotted My Death because I was an affront to their beliefs.

My children, there is no one more dangerous than one who hides behind their religious beliefs out of fear and for self-preservation.  To keep their way of life and their beliefs untouched, they plotted the death of the Chosen One of God, and did so with no remorse.  This is why I wept over Jerusalem, for they sealed their own fate and the fate of the people by drawing down upon themselves the Hand of God in full knowledge.

Today history is being rewritten and interpreted both inside and outside the Church in order to be politically correct, but, My children, God is not politically correct.  Truth is truth and actions have consequences, and Isaiah and the other prophets warned what would happen if the Messiah was not accepted.  I spoke to the elders about the consequences of refusing to accept God’s Anointed.  They heard My words but chose their own path.  It came to the point where I fled Jerusalem and went into Samaria to teach while I could and to the dismay of the Sanhedrin, many of the Israelites followed Me into Samaria to hear Me preach and to receive healing.  The people of Samaria were the outcasts of Israel and for the people to go there showed their faith in Me.  I stayed there working and waiting for the appointed time to return to Jerusalem and to My Death.

I speak of the intrigues of the day because they have a direct bearing on why the Hand of the Father fell upon all the people and why, in a few short years after My Passion, Death and Resurrection, Jerusalem would be destroyed.  Thousands would die within the city and thousands more would line the roads leading into the city nailed on crosses.  Israel would cease to exist as a nation for thousands of years and even today what is called Israel is built on land claimed by others and has belonged by right to others for centuries.

I will end this lesson, this chapter, reminding you that the Word of God goes forth and does not return until it bears fruit.  The nation now called Israel is still under the Hand of God, for she is encircling herself with walls that will be her undoing if hearts do not open and return to the teachings of Scripture.  I will speak of this later, but for now pray, My children, that your hearts and the hearts of all your brothers and sisters be opened to God and to all that is being offered to you.

I bless those with ears to hear.

I bless you.

 

 

Chapter 18 – The Second Half of the Third Year

 

Child, today I will begin to speak of the months that led up to My Death.  They were months in which I was very busy.  I sent the Apostles out two by two in all directions throughout Samaria and along the border.  The few times that one or another of the Apostles returned to their homes, they went in twos for safety and so they could evangelize as they traveled.  I had for over a year empowered the Apostles with the gift of healing and driving out demons, and they had been doing so wherever I sent them.  Their courage and compassion in the face of adversity was great.  I told them to be generous with the power entrusted to them and free as many as possible from their sufferings. 

People sought us out day and night and the only quiet time that we had was on the Sabbath when people could not move about freely.  My Heart bled for the children of God, especially the poor who could not afford care and expensive remedies, and I knew My time of being with the people in this way was almost over.  When healed, most were grateful to God, and yet, I knew that among the crowds in Jerusalem on the day I would die there would be many who had been healed who would call for My Death.  I also knew that in time many of these would come to Me, True Believers, and would be faithful even unto death. 

I tried hard to prepare the Apostles for what was coming, but none of the Twelve could seem to grasp the reality of what I was telling them.  Scripture mentions three times that I warned them, but it was more than this.  When I would point out the hatred of the Sanhedrin, they would agree, but then reassure Me that the people would never allow them to touch Me.  I told them plainly that the Father had sent Me to die and bridge the gulf between man and God, but you read in Scripture Peter’s reply and how I had to rebuke him; blind by their own will and by human love which does not understand God’s Ways and does not want to accept Truth if it is contrary to their heart’s desire or to a rationale that they themselves built.

Only Judas began to listen and, being proud of his rational mind, he could see that events were unfolding that might prove Me correct.  By family ties and because he was educated in the Temple, he moved freely in the Temple circle.  He could not see that he was being used as an informant and as an instigator among the Twelve.  In his pride he thought they respected him and that he was serving Me when he would meet them privately thinking no one knew.  I knew and I warned him, but he thought, as usual, I did not appreciate his position and his talents. 

Judas began to be openly garrulous among the brothers.  He stopped pretending equality and he tried to make them see that I must be forced to proclaim Myself King.  He had waited two and one half years for Me to step into the role that he wanted Me to play, and when I would not, his disappointment, anger and frustration grew. 

He had for some time been keeping money that was to go to the poor for himself.  John, who traveled with him most often, was aware of it and tried to reason with him in the hope that I would not find out and be burdened with another problem.  I knew and I left Judas know that I knew, and it frightened him that I was aware, and for a little time he did better, but in the last six months, because of his disappointment, he once again began to take from the poor and he used it for small comforts and for pleasures that he hid from his companions.

Child, My Heart was sorely troubled; not for Me.  I knew he was the betrayer mentioned in Scripture, but I worried what would happen if the other eleven knew to what depths he had sunk and that he was the betrayer I had spoken of.  I shielded him from the others, not for his sake, but for theirs.  It was not difficult, for as I said, we were traveling much and were often separated.  Only John, because of his honest and pure heart, perceived the spiritual fall of Judas, but seeing Me keeping Judas close by and protecting him from the others, he, in his humility, said nothing.

Toward the end of the fourth month of the second half, Judas began to make excuses to be away and I let him go, for I saw his heart and I knew he had made his choice and nothing I could say or do would alter what would unfold.

During those last six months, I tried to gather the women disciples together and begin to prepare them for what was coming and what they would have to do to help My Mother, the Apostles and the fledgling Church.  It may seem strange, but these women who were more or less isolated could grasp the truth better than the men.  I believe, I know, that the heart of a woman can see clearly through events when it directly involves those they love.  Their instinct to protect cuts through personal illusions and that is why they seemed stronger than the men in matters of faith and love, and on Good Friday they were stronger for love overcomes all fear.

The political atmosphere in Jerusalem and in the countryside was growing as heated as the turmoil in the Temple, and I could see clearly all things coming together and would totally unfold on the first Holy Thursday.

My children, there has been much debate about Judas Iscariot over the centuries because so little is said of him in the Gospels except by John who calls him thief and betrayer.  People have romanticized him and tried to make him out as a nationalist who thought he could force Me to be King for the sake of Israel, but do not delude yourself.  He was a person of great pride who would not bend nor allow himself to be molded, even by God Himself.  He is a warning to all proud souls that the greater the pride, the harder the heart, and the person with a hardened heart will not accept God nor His Mercy.

O My children, beware of pride in all its forms.  It led to the downfall of Lucifer, to the fall of Adam and Eve, to the betrayal of the Man-God, and to the eternal damnation of many souls.  Do not fall into the trap of thinking that you know more than God, that you are above His Laws and the natural law.  Eternal separation from God will be your destiny if you do not hear Me knocking at the door of your heart, and with humility allow Me to come in and mold you to My Image and Likeness.

I bless those with ears to hear.

I bless you.

 

 

Chapter 19 – The Last Week

 

This chapter will deal with the last week I was on earth before the Crucifixion.

We, and by we I mean Myself, the Apostles, disciples and many from our villages, arrived on the outskirts of Jerusalem just before the Sabbath where we remained until the Sabbath passed.  On Sunday I sent two into town to get a little donkey for Me to ride upon.  All this is in Scripture.  What I wish to speak of was what was going on among the Apostles, disciples, family members, and our friends and neighbors.

We had all come to the Holy City, Jerusalem, for the great celebration of Passover.  Everyone who could be in Jerusalem came each year for this great Feast.  Men, women and children came from all over Israel and from other nations to celebrate.  It is a holy time and from the day of the first Passover in Egypt, this Feast was celebrated by all Israelites.  There was hardly room to move in the streets.  Every spare room was filled with people within the city and outside the walls, everywhere people were camped.

When I had told the Apostles that we were going to Jerusalem for Passover, they were afraid.  We had been so ill-treated by those in the Temple and hounded village to village that they were afraid that I, and also themselves, would be arrested by the Temple authorities.  I told them that I had to be in Jerusalem for this Passover and I told them not to fear for themselves, and that they should bring their wives and daughters and family members to be with them.  This set their minds at ease.  I did tell them that soon Scripture would be fulfilled and I was looking forward to that time.  My Mother came with family members when I sent word to Her that She was to come to Jerusalem, for My time had come.  We stayed outside the city until it was time for Me to enter so that part of Scripture could be fulfilled.

Word spread quickly that I was outside of the city and was planning to enter late in the morning.  When we set out, the Apostles were surprised by the reception waiting for Me.  Their faces lit up and they laughed and rejoiced that I had found such favor with the people.  Even with all the noise, I could hear the Apostles telling each other that there was nothing to fear.  No one could oppose Me since I was so loved by the people.  They had forgotten, or pushed away, My warnings.  They were exuberant as fear melted away and their heads were filled with dreams of My being made King, whether I wanted it or not, for the people were proclaiming Me and surely I would give in.  Even Judas rejoiced and once again dreamed of My being King. 

As I slowly rode through the crowds, My Heart was breaking, for I knew that in a few short days these same voices who were praising Me would be calling for My Death, and My jubilant followers would be running away in fear after one of their brothers betrayed Me.  Only My Mother looked on with pity in Her Eyes.  She knew My Heart was breaking.  She also knew in a few short days I would be put to death, but what was equally breaking Her Heart was the knowledge that after three long years, so few understood Me and what I had come to give them.  Bitter tears were held back by Us Both.  I had to ride through that crowd in order that all Scripture be fulfilled, but it cost Me so much to do this.

Man never seems to be able to elevate himself to understand the Ways of God.  Always he seems to be chained to the earth with petty dreams of power and glory.  I was able to complete the ride by repeating to Myself over and over that there were many here that would one day truly believe and they would reap the benefits of the Blood of the Man-God.

That evening when those who came to congratulate Me had left, I was able to spend quiet time with My Mother.  We consoled each other and drew strength from each other.  We prayed together to the Father that He give Us the courage and strength to fulfill His Will to the end.  Then I gathered the Apostles and spoke to them firmly and straightforwardly about how they were deceiving themselves.  I told them they could not trust the whims of crowds and that I had come to redeem man and nothing was going to change that.  They looked at Me in disbelief; could I not see and hear what the people were proclaiming?  And I told them once again My Kingdom was not of this world and I would betray My Father if I settled for an earthly kingdom.  Some shook their heads and would not believe.  Some listened but hoped that things would be different, and they were prepared, they said among themselves, to defend Me with their lives.  Judas was dismayed as he realized that once again I was going to dash his hopes of My being King and he a part of an earthly kingdom where power and glory would be his.  I sent them off to rest and I spent the rest of the night in prayer.

On Monday I asked the Apostles to gather the women disciples at the house of Lazarus.  I told them to tell the women that I wished to speak to them privately and that My Mother would be there.  That afternoon they gathered and I told the women disciples what I had told the Apostles the night before.  They believed Me.  I told them frankly that the time had come for Me to fulfill My mission and that before the next Sabbath I would be dead, but to remember My Words about the Resurrection.  I told them that in the hours of trial they too would doubt, but I knew that they would not run.  I entrusted My Mother to their care and I entrusted them to the care of My Mother.  They watched My Mother as I spoke to them and the hearts of women, be they young or old, are almost always tender and motherly when it comes to those who are suffering.  They could see the suffering in My Mother’s Face and, yet, they could see that She was peaceful and determined to support Me with dignity and love.  They took their cue from Her and although tears flowed as the truth settled in, there was no emotionalism.  They faced Me with great dignity and proclaimed their love and trust in Me.  In the days that followed, they kept their pledge and quietly looked after My Mother, Myself and the Apostles and other disciples.

Tuesday I went up to the Temple and preached.  It was on this day that those who were listening to Me and those who had come to ridicule Me and drive Me away heard the Voice of the Father.  Understand; they heard and believed and those who were plotting against Me were filled with fear.  They were determined to be rid of Me and they were in a frenzy over the proclamation of the people in the streets when I entered Jerusalem, and now, just two days later, there is this Heavenly Manifestation in the very courtyard of the Temple.  Some withdrew from Jerusalem in fear, but others plotted and sought a way to arrest Me, and that very afternoon they approached Judas.  They promised him that his being with Me would not be held against him if he would help them, and all he had to do was to let them know when I would be alone.  They offered him money which he took.  He had sold his soul for a handful of coins and because his pride had been hurt and his dreams of power and glory were smashed.

My children, I told you pride is the root of all evil.  Pride will lead you to the very gates of Hell.  Satan knows your every weakness and if you do not defend yourself against him by seeking the protection of your Lord, you will fall.  If Judas had trusted Me and put himself second, he could have been remembered as a Saint, but because he did not want the Ways of God but the ways of man, his name will be forever synonymous with the word ‘traitor’.

On Tuesday evening when Judas returned, I took him aside and told him that I loved him and there was still time for him to choose Me, and to help him, I told him that I would send him away from Jerusalem on an errand so he could save face with the other Apostles.  I told him to pray, and for the love I bore him, to take My offer and go.  He hesitated, but then said no, there was no reason for him to go.  He lied and he knew that I knew that he was lying.  There was nothing left now except for events to walk out.

On Wednesday morning I returned to the Temple.  I spoke to those there who came to Me with their questions.  The atmosphere was different.  The Scribes and Pharisees stayed away.  There were no hecklers and the Temple guards ignored Me.  The Apostles were relieved, but I knew that it meant that all had been decided and there was no need to try to stop Me on this day for they knew that they would have Me in custody soon. 

I spent the rest of the day after prayer in the Temple with the Apostles and disciples.  I spoke to them of the things I had taught them.  I reminded them to stay close to one another, to support one another.  The women disciples served us supper and retired, and I spent Wednesday evening alone among the Apostles.  I wanted to savor every moment with them.  Judas made an excuse to be away that evening and so I was free from all tension.  It was an enjoyable evening.  I listened as they talked about the day, about how pleased they were about the reception in the Temple.  I listened as they talked about the people who had approached them in the streets to ask about Me.  Two of them had healed a blind person, another had been with his relatives who wanted to know more about Me.  Others talked about fishing and what they would do when they returned to Galilee.  There were nets to be fixed and repairs on the boats.  John remarked about how quiet I was and he asked if something was wrong.  I told him I was enjoying just listening to them and sharing the time with them.  John smiled and touched My Hand.  It was a peaceful evening, and for a while, the horror that was to come was blocked from My Mind. 

That night I spent in prayer.  It seemed as if My Father were far away.  I knew He could not be, but it felt like it.  It was hard to settle into contemplation, for My Mind would jump from My offering love to the Father to what was about to unfold.  My Heart burned with desire to fulfill the Father’s Will and to bring joy to mankind through making reparation for Adam’s Sin.  Soon Heaven would be opened to all those who truly wanted their God.  Then the next moment I would remember the price that had to be paid, and the greatest suffering I felt was when I thought of My Mother and what this would cost Her.  And so the night passed and dawn came.

I will end this chapter here with this reminder: My children, I am truly man as well as truly God, and those days before the Crucifixion were already an agony.  I had to live with the spiritual density of the Apostles, disciples and all of Israel.  I had to spend time with the one who would betray Me and know that he who I loved had not only turned against Me, but had sold himself for a handful of coins.  I had to see the hardness of heart of those who claimed they serve their God, and I had to see each day the Face of My Mother Who wore a smile on Her Face when She was around Me and others, but Her Face was pale and Her Eyes bright with tears She could not shed.

My children, you have cost Me so much, and I would do it again for each one of you.  All I ask of you is love and to trust your Jesus so that I can bring you safely home.

I bless you.

 

 

Chapter 20 – Holy Thursday Night

 

There is a clear and accurate account of the events of that Thursday night before My Death.  I wish in this chapter to speak not so much of the events, but what was happening between the Apostles and Myself and what was the cause for Judas to strike that night.

My children, emotions can never be trusted.  I have explained to you, as I explained to My Apostles, that in the spiritual life, or even in the matters of the world, it is how you have lived your life, how you have disciplined yourself that enables you to act and to make right choices.  I have told you in previous chapters how I had told the Apostles that they must live what I taught them.  I told them that they would need to give up their old ideas of how things should be and look at everything in the light of My Doctrine.  The heart, the core of My Doctrine is love, not emotional, sentimental love, but a living love that is a mirror image of God Himself.  God is Love and because you are made in the image and likeness of God, you are able to love.  True love is a living thing; it knows no boundaries, it seeks no recompense, it makes no conditions, and it has a power that can change the world and reach into the very depths of Heaven and cause both matter and things of the spirit to change.

My children, how little you understand love.  If you did, there would be little difference between Heaven and earth, for both would be bound in an inseparable bond and you would pass from one to the other barely noticing the change.  This is what God wanted for Adam and Eve and for all their descendents till the end of time, but they did not want this.  They put God second and themselves first and they broke the bond and were cast out of Eden.  I, the new Adam, came to reconnect that bond and it was the Father’s Will that I should become man, not only to reconnect the bond, but to show man that he could live in such a way that that bond could not be broken, if he desired.

I told you in the previous chapter of the struggles of the Apostles and disciples during those days before My capture.  Today I will speak of the interplay between persons on that eventful Thursday.

We awoke after a short rest on that Thursday morning and each were given tasks to prepare for the Passover Supper that would be celebrated that night.  This is one of the holiest Feasts of old Israel and still is today.  I told them all to gather at the house where the Upper Room was before dusk.  They performed their tasks, but they were also building sand castles in the air.  A few had decided that if I was so worried about being captured, then they would form a plan to protect Me, and a few had weapons hidden where they believed I wouldn’t see them.  They would not accept My Words that what was about to unfold would happen in part by God’s design.  A few, in particular the older ones, realized that the quiet of that week was not a good thing.  It was too quiet and they were looking forward to leaving Jerusalem as soon as possible, but they too did not think that the Sanhedrin would strike over a major Feast and after My welcome into the city.  I will speak of Judas a little later.

There ran that day a current of worry and, yet, there was this positive certainty that they understood things and they could control almost every situation that could cause Me grief.  I would walk into a room and they would stop talking and then greet Me joyfully and act as if all was well.

In the afternoon I spent time with My Mother, for with Her I could rest.  I was drawing strength from Her, for Mary is always peaceful, even during the worst moments, for Her Will is always united to the Will of the Father.  She was suffering, knowing that My time had come, but there was peace in that suffering because She trusted the Father.

That evening we gathered in the upper Room, all twelve together.  We celebrated the Rite of Passover as was customary.  Everywhere throughout the city we knew others were also performing the same rite, remembering the first Passover, repeating the Psalms, eating the unleavened bread and bitter herbs.  There was a strange tension in the room which was almost relieved by saying and doing what was familiar, and Judas was careful that night not to arouse suspicion among his brothers, and so they were more relaxed.  When I washed their feet, they were all bewildered and the exchange between Peter and I has been recorded in Scripture.  What is not recorded is Judas’ reaction.  His eyes, for a moment, filled with tears and I hoped, even though I knew, that this act of love might touch his heart enough for him to reconsider.  I even whispered to him ‘There is still time; follow Me Who loves you and do not go out alone this night.’  A look of shock was on his face as he realized I knew full well what he was planning.  He had stayed away almost all that day so as not to be near Me and to draw strength from those who were using him to get what they wanted.  The moment passed and his face became hard in look.  He stiffened and moved imperceptibly away.

We continued the ritual meal and John, ever perceptive, saw in My Face grief and he asked Me what was the matter, and it is recorded that I showed him who would betray Me.  I wanted John to know and understand that I knew beforehand the events that would unfold that night.  I could tell him for he already knew about Judas and I knew he would be silent and not react.  I could not tell the others for they would have acted, and in the heat of passion, one or more could have committed murder thinking that they were doing good.  I could not risk such a thing, for they still did not understand about true love.  They would have acted out of emotionalism and all I had taught them could vanish like a mist.  In a few day’s time this would not be so, for they would have been tried in fires of humiliation, grief and failure that would finally purify them of all pride and enable them to love, but not so that night and so I could not derive comfort from them.  They were another cross that weighed heavily in My Heart.

And now, little one, I will answer your question of this morning.  You asked why God permitted, or seemed to permit, sacrilege to happen and He not respond.  The answer can be found in what happened at the institution of the Sacrament of Holy Eucharist.

My children, I took the bread, I blessed it and pronounced the words that changed it from ordinary bread into My Body.  It was not a symbolic act; it was a miracle that is beyond your understanding.  I blessed the wine and it became My Blood and, miracle of miracles, in both I am truly present Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity.  I made a new covenant between God and man.  I said ‘Do this in remembrance of Me’, but remembrance meant, and was understood to mean, that each time these words were said I would work the same miracle and be truly present from that day forth until the last time this act was performed on the Last Day.

Do you know what I did for you?  Love found a way to stay with you, to teach you, to heal you, to change you, to commune with you long after I would ascend to Heaven.  You are not remembering Me when you receive Holy Communion, you are interacting with Me, your God, your Jesus, one on one.  I come within you, God Present, and dwell within you.  You become a living tabernacle, and if you could see with spiritual eyes all the Angels around you, prostrate and adoring, you would not be able to live.  Holy, Holy, Holy, Thrice Holy is the Presence within you.  This was My Gift to you, My Gift to the Apostles.  When I gave them My Body and Blood they understood what I meant, but they could not grasp yet what I had done for them, for I was still with them.  Each responded according to how well spiritually they were able to receive their God.  John was in ecstasy; the others were profoundly moved, all except one and this is the answer to your question. 

When Judas received My Body and Blood, for him it brought spiritual death and, soon after, physical death.  For John, My Presence within him helped to elevate him and give him the courage he would need over the next several days.  He would be the first to break out of the spiritual darkness that Satan was weaving that night.  For the others, it would give them the courage not to despair, to admit their guilt and trust in God’s Mercy.  Because of the state of Judas’ soul, there was no life-giving benefit.  He had chosen Satan and his pride as his comforter and so God’s Justice prevailed, and he became fully the pawn of Satan, and I sent him away when I saw the total darkness descend upon him.  The others thought he was off on an errand, but, My children, My Heart broke when I saw the state of his soul and knew he would not turn back because he did not want to turn back.

My children, you cannot approach Me in the Blessed Sacrament with unrepented grievous sin upon your soul, for God will not dwell where Satan abides.  Holiness will not stay where evil reigns, and if I withdraw: O the horror and danger that surrounds you.  Understand, My Mercy is always there for you, My forgiveness is there for you if you will only repent.  Never do I stop calling to you, but in truth, if you choose evil as a way of life, you are deaf to My calls and blind to what I offer you.  You choose your own destiny.

My children, when you approach Me in the Blessed Sacrament, come as prepared as you can be, for I am an Infinite God Who waits for you with blessings, healing spiritually and physically.  Do not draw curses down upon yourself, but blessings.  I so desire to be with you, to live in unity with you and to lead you safely home to your Father in Heaven.  Love loves you and I call you with every beat of My Heart.  Do not make the mistake of Judas in thinking that you do not need Me or that you can live as you please and still have Heaven.

I wish to say one more thing about that night.  In the garden I suffered terribly and that suffering was made up of many things.  I felt already separated from My Father.  I could not feel His Presence with Me.  I felt what the damned souls feel when they cannot find God anywhere.  It is a grief that is unbearable and literally I began dying of it.  I sweat Blood and My Heart was damaged beyond repair.

My children, you never want to experience such grief.  For those souls who are damned, their grief turns to hatred, but the grief I experienced I turned into an offering for your salvation and redemption.  It took all of My will power to make this offering, but the Father is always good and He sent to Me the Angel to give Me comfort and the strength to complete the Desire of My Heart which was your redemption.

I told you at the beginning of this chapter that love is a living thing and it is the love I had for My Father and the love that I have for each one of you that enabled My Spirit to overcome grief, sadness, fear of death, for I am true man and it is part of human nature to want to live, and it was love that enabled Me to forgive My betrayer, to heal the ear of the soldier that Peter cut off, and to forgive My Apostles for forgetting what I had taught them.  Love gives you wings so that you can see above present suffering and focus on what is good and true.  Love enables you to trust and to move forward when circumstances, and men, try to make you believe that all is hopeless.

My children, remember that God is Merciful, but He is also Just.  There is a day of accounting and whether it comes soon or at the end of your days, the scales will balance.  You cannot deceive God.  If you want Him, then live today for Him.  Do not wait.  Use every ounce of your strength and all the force of will that you can to attain Him.  Your Father in Heaven is your All.  Everything else* will pass away, but God, love and your immortal soul.  Believe this and act accordingly.

I bless you.

 

*The world and things of the world.

 

Chapter 21 – In the Tomb

 

Today I will speak of the time in the tomb.  It may seem strange to many that I do not speak of the crucifixion, but already much has been written about it, and what transpired on Holy Thursday night just escalated and finally led to My Death.

I wish to speak about the time in the tomb.  As Man I was truly dead, but My Divinity could not die and so, I knew what was transpiring among My Apostles, disciples and with My Mother.

When Judas committed suicide he came before Me.  He had chosen his own way and, as God, I let him go where he had chosen.

My children, I have told you each deliberate decision you make for good or evil leads you on the path to Heaven or Hell.  Even the most small matter has everlasting effects.  I had warned Judas over and over not to close the doors on grace and on his Lord, but he thought he knew better.  He wanted control of his life and in his pride would not listen.  He received in this world what he wanted; to be famous and remembered.  He will always be remembered to the last man.  His name will not shine in glory, but he will be known as the most infamous man in all of history.

My Apostles were hiding or on the road running away.  My disciples were scattered, stunned and full of fear.  There were sheep without a Shepherd, or so they thought.  I lay in the tomb, My earthly Body dead, and they thought of Me as dead, for they could not believe that God would permit Himself to be killed much less to die such an ignoble death.  And where was the head, the leader that I had appointed to guide them?  Most could not find him for Peter was in hiding.  The only ones who were not hiding or running away were the women.  They were grieving, but busy tending to those who came, taking care of My Mother, and preparing what was needed to embalm Me the next day.  All but one of the women, besides My Mother, were in shock and they, for the time being, forgot about My Promise to rise on the third day.  Their humanity took hold and they struggled to have faith in My Promise.  Only the Magdalen, My Mary of the great heart, remembered and supported My Mother Who waited in great grief for the moment of My Triumph.  My Mother believed, but Her Heart was broken because of the torture that I had undergone and the cruelty of My Death, and She was overwhelmed with the knowledge of how cruel and blind men can be.  Mary of Magdala helped Her by repeating what I had said, that many would come to Me when I was lifted up.

In My Divinity I, God, knew all of this.  I, God, supported with grace those who were wandering and hiding, and those grieving and waiting.

My children, in this day and age Scripture is being rewritten in order to try to explain and rationalize Who God is and His interaction with Man.  It is a sin to do this, for God cannot be explained and His Ways, My Ways, are not your ways.  This has been said over and over, generation after generation, but your generation has decided that it must make all things, including God, understandable and if it cannot, then it must be a fairy tale to teach a moral.

O My children, you will rue the day that in your pride you changed the Word of God to fit your finite world.  You have lost the sense of the Sacred.  Your pride has begun to rival that of Lucifer.  These are hard words, but I must say them for the good of your soul. 

The Father could have arranged for your redemption in many ways, but He chose the path I walked because it is part of His Salvation Plan.  He is All-good, All-knowing and all things are under His control.  He leaves each of you free to choose His Way or not, but in the end all things will come about as He wants.  You are free to choose Eternal Life or Eternal Death for yourselves, but the Salvation Plan will come to consummation as He wills.

My children, for many of you who follow Me, you feel like you are in the Tomb waiting to be called forth into the Light.  It seems an endless time of waiting and I understand, and so does My Mother, for She too felt that She was sealed in the tomb with Me, waiting, waiting….  I, too, waited with great longing for the appointed time and, in fact, because of the longing of My Mother and My love for My Apostles and disciples, I moved the time forward and was not in the tomb for three full days.  Love can move time and eternity; remember that and persevere, for God will come to release you from your time in the Tomb and I am speaking of the spiritual tomb.  One day I will come and release all who have passed from their earthly tombs.  This is My Promise; it is the Promise of the Resurrection, but while living here upon the earth you will find that at times you find yourself in a spiritual tomb, dead to the world but waiting with Faith and Hope to be released by your Lord.  These times of waiting are very difficult and they seem that they will never end.  Have courage and trust.  I, your Lord, will come and put an end to your waiting.  You are not alone in these dark times.  I am with you and My grace is sufficient to see you through.

This Time is a spiritual time and for those who are wondering, did the Patriarchs and Saints know they were about free, the answer is ‘Yes’.  When I gasped My last Breath and all was consummated, the Angels who were around the cross flew to those waiting to announce that grace had been restored and I would soon be there to lead them into Heaven.

My children, this chapter may disappoint some because all of you are curious about what happens when the body dies and the soul is free.  These are mysteries that are shielded from you for your own sake.  You see, having to pass from life to death of the body is the last great act of Faith.  All of your life is a journey and it all consummates as you prepare to leave this earthly life and come to Me.  It is sufficient to know that if you permit Me, I will be with you at the moment that it is time for your soul to be free of the body.  In truth, I am with you through the whole process of the death of the body. 

For those who believe, trust and love Me, death is peaceful for they are open to My help and it is sufficient to know that each soul stands before Me in personal judgment.  How you live your life will be before you and you go the way you choose.  If you have chosen God in your life and lived accordingly, then either you go immediately into the Presence of God, or to Purgatory if there are accounts to be settled.  And those who did not want their God, but chose the world and all it offered, these souls, when they stand before Me, see Truth and seeing that they are in such a state that they cannot be in God’s Presence, send themselves to Hell.

My children, this is a very serious thing that I am communicating to you.  You are created with an immortal soul and although the body dies, you do not.  You will live for all eternity, but where you spend that eternity, how you spend it, is in your hands.

I AM is telling you; wake up!  There will be a day of accounting and Joy or Sorrow will be your lot, and you alone make the choice.

I bless those with ears to hear.

I bless you.

 

Chapter 22 – The Resurrection

 

Today I wish to speak of the Resurrection. 

As the cock crowed announcing the dawn, the earth shook.  The earth shook when I died and it shook as life entered My Body again.  At the appointed moment, which had been advanced for the sake of My Mother, My Soul and Divinity were united to My Body.  Suddenly there was awareness in My Body.  I opened My Eyes as best I could, for I had been smeared with balm to hold Me until the women could return to complete the burial rite.  I sat up and My Body felt stiff until circulation returned to all parts of My Body.  I removed the covering from My Face and a great light filled the tomb.  Two Angels had come to minister to Me.  They folded the burial cloths and placed them as John and Peter would find them.  My Resurrected Body was clothed in light that wove itself into a heavenly garment.  When I stood I looked at My Hands and My Feet which they had pierced, and from them, and the wound in My Side, rays of light shone forth.  From every wound, even to the smallest, this light poured forth.  The Angels knelt in adoration.  One had been My Guardian on earth and the other was the same that had come to comfort Me in the Garden.

My children, the Angels took human form because they had a mission.  They would wait there to announce My Resurrection to the women who would be coming.  They moved the stone back and I left the tomb in a blaze of light.  All this happened in a matter of seconds. 

When I left the tomb the light stunned the guards, so bright was My Glory which covered Me.  I went first to My Mother Who had waited in Faith.  Her love had moved the Father and had pushed forth the time of the Resurrection, and so it was only right that I go to Her first and comfort Her and give Her the joy of seeing Her God and Her Son.  Her joy brought tears to My Eyes, for I am truly God and truly Man.  She fell to Her Knees and adored Her God and I lifted Her up to be embraced by Her Son.  She looked at My Wounds and I looked at Her Face.  Tears rolled down Her Face as She remembered My torture, and tears rolled down My Face when I saw how haggard She looked, how red Her Eyes were from crying.  I told Her ‘Mother, rejoice, We have obeyed the Father and We have set right what man had set wrong.’  I told Her ‘Never again would She mourn for Me.’  Our moments together were pure joy, then I told Her that I must leave Her for a little while and bring joy to those who had waited so long to be able to enter into Heaven.

I went to the place where Adam and Eve, the Patriarchs, and all those ready to enter into full union with God were waiting.  At My arrival all adored and gave thanks to the Father for His Infinite Mercy.  I led them into their place of eternal happiness and then returned to outside the tomb where Mary of Magdala was arriving.

Scripture gives an account of the exchange between us and she went back to report what she had seen and what I had said.  I then fulfilled the prophecy that I had given to My Apostles.  I showed Myself to hundreds at the very same moment.  I was seen from one end of Israel to the other.  I was seen by little children and by the old, by men and women.  It was the sign of My return.  I went to those that had been faithful, but who were sorrowing.  I did not show Myself to kings and princes, to priests and scribes, but to My little ones who deserved to see Me.

The High Priest, the Scribes and Pharisees who had plotted My Death were receiving the first signs of God’s retribution.  Many graves opened and those who had passed were seen and spoke of condemnation.  Great turmoil was in the halls of the Temple.  They had not recovered from the great earthquake at the moment of My Death and of the Curtain splitting in the Holy of Holies, and now the very dead that they knew were condemning them, and in the midst of this in ran the Temple guards who had been stationed outside My tomb.  They were hysterical and there was no mistake that they had seen something supernatural.  The reaction was divided according to guilt.  Some believed, repented and left the Temple.  Some tried to reason their way out of what was happening, but they could not avoid the truth and, in the end, joined those most guilty in forming a plot to discredit the reports coming in.

Those in the Temple knew more than those outside and they intended to keep it that way.  They could not admit to the people that they had committed Deocide, for they would have been stoned to death, and the power they had coveted would vanish with them.  They began to spread the rumor that the Apostles had stolen the Body and they paid the guards to say this.  In the days that followed, most wanted to forget seeing the dead before them and it was easy to convince them that it was just hysteria.

Woe to those who reject correction, for it was then that the fate of all Israel was sealed.  I had warned them that if they did not accept the visitation of the Lord, that not one stone would remain upon another.  All Jerusalem would be destroyed and so it came to pass, for what the Lord speaks is always fulfilled, and in the end, not only Jerusalem was destroyed, but the very nation ceased to exist.

And what of My Apostles while all this is going on?  Most are hiding and when person after person comes telling them that I am alive and they have seen Me, they still will not believe.

I have spoken already of My meeting with them and of My meeting with Thomas, so I will end this chapter by telling you what I had told the Pharisees and the Scribes, and My Apostles and disciples, what God speaks forth comes to fruition.  It may not be according to your timetable, or in the way that you want, but all will be done according to His Will and at the appointed time. 

There is much hope in My Resurrection and this is what you cling to, and that is right, but there is also a warning.  Do not send away your Lord on the day of His visitation, for you may lose all that has been promised, and woe to those who will not receive correction, for God is Just and He is not your plaything, and He bows to no man.

I bless those with ears to hear.

I bless you.

 

 

Chapter 23 – Ascension

 

Today I will speak of the Ascension and what led up to it between the Resurrection and the morning of the Ascension.

As Scripture says, I told the Apostles to go to Galilee to wait for Me.  They had much to absorb and discern before I met them. 

Before they left Jerusalem, I spent time individually with each one. I had much to say to them individually that was private between them and Me.  I wanted each one to know how much I loved them and although they had made mistakes, it did not change My love for them or their place in My plan for the Church.  I assured each one that they had grown through the experiences of Holy Thursday, Good Friday and the time that I appeared to them on the night of the Resurrection.  I told each one to use what they had learned about themselves and grow stronger in Faith, Hope and Love.  I told them they were My emissaries to the world and that as Priests of the new Church that they must show mercy and compassion for all sinners who would come repentant, for I had been merciful and compassionate toward them.  Each received what they needed to begin again as My Follower and as an Apostle.  There was so much healing needed for they carried a heavy load of guilt and their hearts had broken over the realization of how little they had understood Me, and how they had failed their Friend in His greatest moment of need.  As I removed their guilt and assured them of My Love, they began, each one of them, to mature spiritually. 

I spent a great deal of time with John, for he would care for My Mother and he deserved, because of his faithfulness and his great love for Me, to have Me for himself alone.  We discussed My Mother and I told him about the role She would play in the developing Church.  I told him to listen to Her always, for She is the Morning Star that would keep them on the correct course at all times.  My Mother would be with them for many years at a great cost to Her in order to give them courage, to help them in difficult moments, and to witness in Her quiet way about Me always.

I spent as much time as I could with My Mother assuring Her that I would be with Her always through the Eucharist in a special way because Her Soul and Heart are united to Mine in a way no other heart and soul would ever be.

I also spent time with many of the disciples giving them My love and My last instructions before I returned to the Father.  I sent word through them and the Apostles to the other disciples that they were to gather in Gethsemane on the morning of My Ascension.  I did not tell them I would be leaving them, only that I would be there to speak to them. 

During this time the eleven remaining Apostles left for Galilee and My Mother remained in Jerusalem in the house of Lazarus.  I wanted to be alone one last time with My Apostles as it had been before, and would never be again.  As Scripture says, John was the first to recognize Me on the seashore.  They had been fishing and I could hear their laughter as it carried over the water.  My impetuous Peter jumped out of the boat; he could not wait for it to dock on the shoreline.  They acted as if they were starved for Me and, in a sense, they were, for I had not seen them as they traveled to Galilee.  I wanted them to use that time to bond more deeply and to discuss among themselves the events of the last three years.  This time they listened to one another and in humility learned from one another.  The bonds of friendship and brotherhood were strengthened.  They grew in spiritual insight and the awkwardness that they had felt with each other immediately after My Death vanished.  By the time they saw Me they were ready to receive and understand My last instructions.  I ate with them and shared moments of joy and peace with them. I did not stay constantly with them for I wanted them to discuss among themselves the things I shared with them, and because, even though I was once again their Jesus, My Divinity was apparent and among them they felt such great respect and awe in My Presence that it was difficult for them to interact in My Presence.  There was in their mind always the question of how much longer would they have Me with them.  I assured them that I would be with them always, even if they did not see Me.  I told them that in future times I would come to them and they would see and hear Me.  I would come when they needed Me most or when I had a particular mission for them.  I would not leave them orphans.

They asked if they should replace Judas with one from among the disciples.  I told them that after I returned to the Father I would send the Paraclete and He would guide them in this matter.  Our time together passed quickly and it was time for them to return to Jerusalem and to gather as many disciples as possible for the appointed day.

Early in the morning on the day of My Ascension I came to My Mother to say My farewells to Her.  It was a time of joy and sorrow.  I knew Her Heart and She was totally conformed to the Will of the Father which gave Me peace, but I also knew that this was one more sorrow after so many grievous sorrows.  She rejoiced for Me that I would be with the Father.  She rejoiced in that man could never physically harm Me again, but as a Mother, She would miss not seeing Me as often and in the same way as before My Death.  I knew She would miss taking care of My needs and Our long talks together and Our times of prayer together.  Holy Mary understood Our unity as God and creature, but every mother loves to hear her child speak of his day, to touch them gently and share laughter and tears.  I kept My Mother with Me through the morning except for a few moments when I took My leave of the Eleven.

We all joined the disciples, both men and women, in the Garden.  In the bright light of day the sorrow of Holy Thursday night was washed away.  I spoke to all those gathered and I called them friends.  I thanked them for their faith and trust in Me.  I thanked them for the help they had given Me over the past three years.  I told them that their work was just beginning, for now it was up to them to spread My Teachings far and wide, but most important was that they live what I had taught them.  I promised them that if they were faithful to the end, I would take them each to Heaven, for as I had been their Friend on earth, I would be their Friend, their Jesus, at the moment of their death and would see them safely to the Father.  As I looked at them, I knew many of them would give their lives as martyrs for their Jesus.  The future was sealed from them, but I, their God, knew that there were great Saints among them and to live My Teachings it would cost them everything on the earth.

Time passed quickly and it was time for Me to go.  I told them why I had gathered them.  My Apostles already knew.  Lazarus and his sisters had known before coming for I had shared with them that My time on earth was over.  There were many tears and some did not understand what I was saying. 

I stood upon the rock on which I had leaned and wept on Holy Thursday night.  I smiled at My Mother and blessed Her.  I looked up to Heaven and the sky filled with light.  They could not see the Angels, the Patriarchs and the Holy Ones of God as they waited for My return.  I allowed the veil that hid My Divinity from them to be drawn back ever so slightly and light filled the Garden and they fell to their knees.  My Heart was filled with joy and great thanksgiving to the Father that He had allowed Me to come for all mankind, and that He had permitted these little ones to see Me return in My Glory to the Father.

Before I left them, I blessed them and I ascended to My Father and your Father.  After they could no longer see Me, the Father sent the Angels to speak to them and instruct them to wait for the Paraclete.

This concludes My Words on My Life as Man and on the three years of ministry.  I have written this through child with the help of little one so that many may know Me in a way that does not come through Scripture in such a personal way.

My children, there are many who now try to tell you that either I did not exist, or that I was just a man, a good man, but not the Messiah and not True God.  Do not listen to those who live in darkness and are themselves deceived.  Witness with all your hearts the truth that I am Jesus, the Christ, Son of God, Son of Mary, Who came to redeem you and save you.  I am the Alpha and the Omega, and one day I will come to judge the Living and the Dead.  The earth is My Footstool and My Throne is in Heaven, and I will bring safely into the Kingdom all who follow Me in Truth and Spirit.

My children, have confidence in Me and persevere to the end.

I bless those with ears to hear.

I bless you.